Red October

Holy crap...it's Q4 2008.

I still remember my freakin New Year's Resolutions:

1. Work out
2. Write business (match/surpass ex-employer salary)

I'm in okay shape.

I did grow my book of business five fold. But the 500 members at end of Q4 looking dim. So I slacked. I'm going to downgrade to 300 members. I'll be lucky if I get 250. Did I match or surpass ex-employer salary? I'm going to push so I can match. I'm about 70% there.

September came and went. My girlfriend was here for the first two weeks, which involved going up to San Francisco via Amtrak, staying at a 3 star hotel in Union Square, shopping, eating at overrated 5 star Greek restaurant for her bday, riding Amtrak back down to Bakersfield and her luggage getting stolen, hung out in L.A. for a couple of days, took a 4 day cruise from Long Beach on the 8th, came back and drove down to San Diego; stayed there for a couple of nights. Came home on Sunday night. She left Monday the 15th.

I got sick of her. It reminded me why this is a successful relationship. It being a long distance one is actually a blessing in disguise.


Got a call from human resources. What the hell, accusing me of stealing? I didn't steal shit. You fucking haters. Haters be hatin'.

Saw Ozomatli at the Hollywood Bowl on the 21st. Great show. I got fucked up! I met some young teenie boppers at our seats. They wanted me. But I didn't want any child molestation charges. Some friends of friends were looking hot as well. I'm going to holla at them.

My sister and niece came down last Thursday night. Wow motherhood. Wow kids. Cute kid but a handful if things aren't her way. Let's just say my sister is a very very patient person.

The girlfriend flew into SFO last Saturday night. I didn't want to go up there and see her. I did want to smash though.

So I drove up there Sunday, arrived 10pm, "spent time with her" and had lunch in Palo Alto, checked out Half Moon Bay. Then I wanted to go home and told her I needed to drop her off early. Didn't want to get stuck in NorCal traffic. I dropped her off at her hotel at 4:30. I made a few stops, to get gas twice and to piss twice. Got to my a bar for my friends bday gathering around 11pm. Had 3 Jack and Cokes and 1 Stoli shot. Between the lack of sleep and the fatigue I got pretty faded.

Today I visited a hot lead. The account is a Mexican meat market and restaurant. The patrons were cool older guys. They hooked me up with a pound of Chicharones and a pineapple juice drink. I'm going back on Thursday to drop off some pens and get a signed Broker of Record letter. I can use the extra $200/month.

I'm back on the MySpace and Facebook hype. Some bitches want to meet me. Shit, free social networking websites are the shit. You don't have to leave the comfort of your home to meet and interact. You don't have to do the bar thing any longer. And with the economy continuing it's downward spiral, people aren't going to be able to afford wining and dining and contraceptives.

So more and more people are going to start having more and more cybersex.

And more offspring.

Fuck a bailout plan. Just send the people stimulus checks bitches! I can use some cash right now...

Rotten cupcake...

cupcake (cup-kayk): verb. To shut out the world and focus all of your attention to one girl.

Lost Wages, Nevada

Sin City. Gotta love this place.

It's every grown mans' Disneyworld.

Why?

I'll tell you why:

-Sex
-Drugs (mostly alcohol, but other substances are consumed here as well)
-Rock and roll, oldies, hip-hop, house, jazz, etc.
-Butt naked ladies dancing to R & R, oldies, hip-hop, house, jazz, etc.
-The chance to make money
-The chance to escape the everyday mundane world of waking up in the morning, shaving, driving to work in traffic, clocking in, having lunch with co-workers, daydreaming in the cubicle, clocking out, driving home in traffic, prime time TV...

It's Labor Day Weekend here. I have some friends here that want to hang out.

But it's going to be the same thing as times past: get to the club, get denied access, and get forced to hand over the credit card and ID so we can pop bottles at the table.

After the VIP entrance experience, and having eyes of envy watch us enter the venue, the half naked cocktail waitress/hostess hands over a menu of overpriced bottles. Vodka that usually retails for $40 at the grocery store is priced at $400. With mixers you are looking at $650 for 4 guests at your table. Hmmmmph!!!

Is the $650 worth it? Maybe. If you are able to close on one of the many girls who approach your table that ask if it's "okay to sit at your table because their feet hurt..." but in reality they want free drinks and they think you're a baller so you're thinking you're going to get laid. Hmmmmmph! I honestly think these clubs hire hot looking girls to flirt with male patrons...

I'm going to have dinner with my friend who works at Spearmint Rhino and who recently got fake breasts.

I'm going to play the Mr. Nice Guy and the innocent idiot, and be like "Wow you look more beautiful then ever! I don't know what it is, I can't put my finger on it..." and deny that I know that she got fake tits.

Upon revealing that she got a boob job, I'm going to ask:

Do you mind if I touch them?"

She's great; she's El Salvadorian and is real skinny and has a nice ass. Cute face with DSLs. No silly, not Digital Subscriber Line you freaking dork...

My roommate says I have no chance. He thinks she's a lesbian. He could be right or he could be wrong, but I'm a goddamm equal opportunity employer! I don't hate or discriminate...bisexual candiates who are hired recieve a signing bonus, paid vacation, and employer sponsored benefits.

Funny thing is...she is the girl that was in a photo pouring a Grey Goose bottle that I used to display in my house until my girlfriend saw it and got jealous...

So wish me luck. Planning to take her to Cheesecake Factory or something decent. I just had a big dinner so I'm probably going to order something small so she doesn't order alot too and I can save money. If we both drink tonight, it's on like Teflon, because she doesn't have work until 4am. We're supposed to grab a bite @ 8pm. That's a lot of down time...for me to feel her up time!

If I can't take it back to her pad and hit before she has to leave for work, then I'm going to a locals' bar to try my luck at some Vegas sluts.

Fuck a club, I'm good.

I left Hollywood this weekend for a reason.

Thursday night fright...

I am bored. I am tired. I want to sleep. But I can't.

So I want to go out. I want to meet some nice girls who want to have a one night stand. C'mon bitches come right over! I just changed my sheets and fluffed my pillows. My Lovesac (it's not a beanbag!) is ready for some hot ass...

I want to walk to the salsa club a block away but I keep changing my mind. One time I tried to sneak in with my roommate but we got kicked out because we didn't want to pay cover. There were some hot Latinas in there. I don't know shit about Salsa dancing. I can Cha-Cha but it looks way more technical. I'm thinking it's going to be a slow night, since it's Labor Day Weekend coming up and people are saving their money and energy for it. Fuck that...I'm sure there are girls out there that are feeling the way I'm feeling right now. Gotta go get them...

Last night I got yayed out (no wonder I'm not sleepy) and played tennis and cards. My tennis game was on for the 1st set then it faded away as the coke was sweating out of my pores. I do believe I need uppers to concentrate, because as time lapsed my shots were going in the net, out of bounds, etc.

I closed a deal today! Met with the decision maker and HR lady who I have been in contact with. Fucking asshole was playing hard to get. Then he left it as "we'll get back to you in a couple of weeks..." Then I left the company disappointed. Motherfucker.

While I was pumping gas the HR lady called and said he liked me and signed the Broker of Record letter. Bullshit! But I checked my email on my iPhone a couple hours later and Voila!

Thanks dude! This calls for a monster line and some drinks with my cousin and roommate. A night cap would be bonus for a boner and a very productive day...luck? I don't need luck. Just a slut...

Four cups of coffee...

Yup. Need it in the morning to jump start my day. I grind my beans super fine so I can get the most caffeine out of them.

Now I'm on the toilet, wanting to share my thoughts.

Today is Monday. I have this thing about Mondays. Mondays are a bad day to prospect, only because all of the world doesn't want to be in office. The working force is reluctant to make the commute to the workplace on Monday because the weekend wasn't long enough. They need a weekend from the weekend.

Go ahead and find out. Get up out of your cubicle and ask the employee in the corner cubicle (who by the way is logged on to Yahoo games) "How was your weekend?"

Your coworker will immediately press ALT + TAB to exit out of the screen so you won't know he's bullshitting at work, and will reply, "Not long enough..."

So Mondays are a tough day to prospect, because no one wants to be at work. Sales is a challenge already. Don't fuck with the gatekeeper who is in a bad mood because she hates her job. Not only that, she's got 40 or more hours ahead of her until 5pm Friday. She's in a bad situation.

I texted the nurse this morning and told her that I was going to call her today...wait, do you know about the nurse?

Let me tell you about the nurse:

I went out with my cousin and roommate to different spots in Hollywood on a Friday night, probably like 3-4 weeks ago. I was outside smoking a cigarette on the ground (there were no chairs and my legs felt like Jello) when this cute Pinay walks up to me bumming a cigarrette.

After giving her a hard time, "Let me see you're ID...I don't give cigarrettes to minors..."

and throwing out my infamous lines such as:

"Don't forget to wear your retainer, because I want you to keep your beautiful smile..."

and

"Can I call you sometime or will your boyfriend get mad...."

(This is a 50/50 chance. If they have a boyfriend, or say they do but they don't, the rebuttal is: "Awesome! Us three should get coffee/tea/Jamba Juice sometime...")

I need more girls on the squad. My MVP is cool but there's no I in TEAM. I need a REDEEM TEAM that performs internationally and wins the GOLD.

So I'm trying to get this nurse on the team.

Ah man, when we went camping there were 3 hot Latinas that my client knew that were camping with us. The hottest one was married but the other two were nice, one was blond and the other one was a brunette. My fantasy was to bone my girlfriend and when she fell asleep, sneak into the bisexual girls' tent and have a hot raging threesome with them...but a babysitter can't leave the baby alone. And shit I wanted out of our tent so bad...forgot to sweep the dirt below our tent and was sleeping on a couple of rocks and twigs!

At the wedding reception on Saturday, there were some very cute girls. But because I was babysitting and I had cockblocker as a date, I didn't holla. Just stared. And that's why GF wanted to leave the party already...she knew the deal.

Here's a proposition when I'm not with her:

"So I, (anonymous), swear to start hollering at breezies whenever I get the chance. Not only is it good for business, it is good for networking, for meeting more girls, and to have sex with other girls when my girlfriend isn't around. And, if I were to break up with my girlfriend, I will have a bench who can score 100+ points, grab 50+ rebounds on any given night."

Getting bored...

It's been almost 8 months; we've done it about 200+ times in the Discovery, the Sienna, my sister's house living room floor, in my closet, on a sofabed with my parents in the same room, in a tent, on a futon, an office chair, a bathtub, shower stalls, bathroom sink counters, and of course: my bed.

I'm an animal, and she's down...

We've had 4 good fights; all teasing the possibility of breaking up. The most recent was resolved because I booked a cruise for the both of us; if I cancel the reservation, Carnival keeps my $500.
She was here August 14-16 then again on August 20 until today. We had that fight on the the 11th then I called her the same day and apologized because I knew she was coming on the 14th and I wanted to buck.

Recap of recent Cupcake Marathon:

Had great sex on Wednesday night.

Thursday morning I cooked bacon, pork chops and eggs while she made fried rice. We had breakfast then went back to sleep. We watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona after eating soup and pizza at night. We probably fucked like 5 times on this day.

Friday we walked around the mall and visited stores in Glendale to look for a dress for Saturday night. Couldn't find shit; the dresses that I liked she didn't like. Thank God Bebe had nothing; it was her favorite store and if she had found something there I would have been out $150+! We drove up to Lake Isabella to go camping with a client and his group of friends. We got there around 9pm, I pitched the tent, and then made BBQ chicken. She wanted to fuck in woods. I didn't because it was wide open and the one dude and his kids were shining Maglights in the air and knew we walked away from the campsite. I wasn't about to provide a porno scene for them. So I held off until we got to the tent.

The next day (Saturday) they made chorizo, pork adobo, and eggs. Not a bad breakfast. We played volleyball until about 12pm, when we had decided it was time to go.
Arrived home, took a nap, got ready for the wedding reception; part two of the newlyweds' ceremony in Spain last month.

Today (Sunday) we slept all day. I made her maccaroni and cheese and a pastrami sandwich. Today alone we had sex 5 times.

So she tells me that she loves me.

"Baby, I'm almost in love with you..." is all that I can tell her.

It's my out.

So yeah my dick is sore and I won't get to bust another nut for about 10 days.

In the meantime I'm going to get my grind and hustle on because I got bills to pay.

Love is...(part two, a.k.a. ahem, bullshit)

Thursday night was fun, went to Libertine with a homey. That place has so much potential, just so many dudes. Why not, it's free to get in, no dress code, yadayadayada. DJs spin good house music.

I drove home back to Thousand Oaks. Slept in until 10:30am. Didn't work much. Left for Fresno around 5pm.

Weekend was good, my niece is a funny kid. She's a real moody kid. If she's not in the mood, then forget it, she's a handful. Otherwise she's real cute and has a lot of personality. She tries to act 13 but she's only 2.

Last night, I was on Skype with the girlfriend.

"Do you love me? No? Well I'm giving you 2 years to figure it out."

I did my infamous fake crying, said I was sleepy and demanded to log off so I can rest.

I woke up realizing that the honeymoon is over. She wants to get past the stage of infatuation, and wants some type of reassurrance that this is not just a physical relationship. I can't lie to her. I respect her too much.

So when she arrives here on the 14th, I'm going to make her take a pregnancy test. (Knock on wood.)

Then I'm going to have to break it off, and tell her that "we will remain very good friends and that's it."

I thought that she was a young girl just wanting to have fun. I guessed wrong, she's a mature 25 year old who wants security, stability, and to settle down.

I'm a 30 year old who is still soul searching who wants a paid dime piece to take me shopping, massage my back, and wine and dine me.

Eight eight Oh eight...

It's infinity vertically.

It's what the Chinese deem as a lucky number.

It's once in a lifetime.

I'm going to be on the road up to Fresno. But before that, I'm gonna try my luck at some cards. The only thing is, I have a Salsa lesson in Thousand Oaks tonight. Then I may just stay there and bullshit with my parents. There are no casinos nearby. The closest one is Chumash, which is an hour and forty five minutes deep, past Santa Barbara. I'm good.

My girlfriend and I have been fighting alot. Well, I pick the fights. Like the other day, I was pissed off at her saying that she's "so fat and needs to lose weight." I put her on blast and told her to stop eating junk food and start working out. Then she's like "Why don't you find a new girlfriend who goes to the gym alot and is in shape?" Then I recalled all the hotties at my gym, and asked myself why I have only gone once in the whole month of July!

Yesterday she pissed me off again because she didn't want to talk online because her friend was in the bedroom sleeping. But then she had the nerve to look at a text a friend sent, then call her up. Stupid bitch! That got me irked, because I wanted to hear her voice.

So I called that nurse I met on Friday. She sounded like she was happy to hear from me. And then she was like "Can I call you back later?" Shit bitch, you mean you want me to chase? Fuck you, I just want to fuck!

30 day supply is bye bye...

I did it: my first month trial of Adderall.

Am I different? Well I've lost weight (maybe 7 lbs.) I am excited about tasks and have more energy. I'm chipper. But have I tried to read a novel from start to finish or complete 100 cold calls? Nope.

(I'm going to see what kind of withdrawals are going to occur.)

July 2008 was a month to remember:

July 2: Amsterdam (4 hour layover)

July 3 to 6: Barcelona (friends' wedding)

July 6 to 8: Pamplona (supposed to run with the bulls but police kicked me out)

July 9 to 10: San Sebastian (awesome beach town 1 hour from Pamplona)

July 11: Biarritz (French beach town)

July 12: Lourdes (French village where Virgin Mary appeared)

July 13: Barcelona

July 14: Returned back to L.A. (I was supposed to come back July 16 but the Euro broke me.)

July 18 (morning): Played the best golf ever in my life at Scholl Canyon.

July 18 (evening) to 20: Spent time with my sister and 2 year old niece.

July 21: Played horrible golf at Rustic Canyon. So as redemption I waited in line at Santa Monica Apple Store for 45 minutes and purchased the new iPhone 3G.

July 23 to 27: My girlfriend flew in. I took her to Magic Mountain, Malibu Beach, Costco, did ecstacy, Target, Off Broadway Saks Shoestore, Irvine (friend's housewarming with a taco chef). Oh yeah, we went to Bucktown like 20+ times. I pulled out every single time. But like always I'm scared. She should menstruate 2nd-3rd week of August...I'm really start to like this chick but I still have my guard up. The sex is amazing still to this day...I hope she's not pregnant...

July 27 (evening): Dinner with friends and then poker. Won $40!

July 28: On the phone dealing with client's issues all day. Mostly service, not so much sales. Not if you count the numerous outgoing marketing faxes I sent out. At night played poker again and lost $40.

July 29: Made outbound sales calls and faxes. Set one appointment. Watched the Dodgers whip on the Giants'. Got ramen. Called and told my girlfriend I missed her.

July 30: First appointment with leasing company (waste of time). Fucker wanted me to work magic (i.e. lower his rates but keep the same benefits.) Dropped by a client's retail store to see if he was there. Nope. Pissed off and frustrated on the drive back home, magic occurred: my phone rings and I was contacted by a bottle printing company. She told me she got my fax and wanted to meet with me. About 20 members! The faxes are working!!! Meeting went well she told me to create a spreadsheet for her and email it by morning. I exceeded her expectations and emailed it before end of business day. I'm going to close!!! Played cards again at night. Lost $20. I was up $20, but got donkeyed out by my homey. Got super coked out and drunk on beers. Smoked a lot of cigarettes.

July 31: 5am chatted with my girlfriend for a couple of hours. Napped for an hour. Tried to phone my potential client. Phones are down and no voicemail available. I email her. She emails me. I email her the Broker of Record letter for her to fill out and send back. She thinks I'm going to charge her fees. I reassure her no by sending her an attachment, an email forward and an 800 # to call so she can verify. Didn't hear back from her all day. Was caught up trying to install a group's dental plan, and answered another incoming call for a family quote, (the faxes are working). Tried to call her @ 4pm. Voicemail full. Bitch, you need me! Let me help you out so you can help me out with the $14.34 per member per month! Called my homey who needed car insurance. He was busy. Chatted with my girlfriend for 2.5 hours. Shared pictures with her. Bullshitted. Wanted to go out and meet women but am burned out. My body is burned out, but my mind is very active. Shit I may have taken the Adderrall too late today...and drank 4 cups of coffee too many! It's 1:16am and I'm wired still. Maybe I should have rolled out to lounge. Oh well, my financials are fucked up right now and I don't really want to spend money. I got my free credit report. Good thing I have to pay for the score. I bet the Boston Celtics can score more points in 4 quarters versus my credit score...yikes! Good news though...I have 3 credit cards that are still open and have $13,000 to fuck with. Uh oh, here we go again...didn't I learn my lesson from the first time in 2005? When I cashed out $80K in equity to pay off credit cards?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? That's okay...I'm going to Commerce Casino and will play $1000/$2000 no limit Hold 'Em...but before I do that I'm going to pop some bottles at a hot night club. And maybe hit up a strip joint...hahahaha! I need another cigarette. Good night/morning...

Love is...

So the drive to the Bay Area was a bitch; my parents and I lagged so we finally get to pick up my girlfriend at her hotel around 12:30am. I told her 10:30-11pm. That's why being the pimp I am I packed her a to-go box from my cousin's house with her favorite foods: fried fish, veggies, Dinuguan, and some white rice. She wasn't mad at all.

We get to the hotel room and the set up was a major cockblock. We get the sofa hideaway bed which faced my parents' bed. Yay! But being the freaks we are, I made sure my parents were in deep sleep (snoring was a good sign), slipped on a rubber and was hitting it sideways. Since I haven't nutted in 3 days, my parents were in the same room, and I was tired, I came like in 45 seconds. Sorry girlfriend, I get mine and you don't.

We wake up and get the free breakfast and meet with family. We then get ready to go out. San Ramon is dead so we go to Walnut Creek. Nice spot.

AND THEN...guess who I run into at the H&M store? The first girl I lost my virginity to when I was 21 years old! SMALL MOTHER FUCKING WORLD!

I spotted a short mestisa girl. I mean how can I forget her? She's really cute and she's a sex bunny. I called her, and she didn't recognize me at first...well no shit Sherlock, the sex was awful for her and it was my first time...of course she won't remember me! I reintroduce myself and she smiles and gives me a big hug. I blushed and cheesed at the same time. All the memories came back to me. I remember asking her questions so she could do all the talking while I recalled the hot sex we had at my apartment in Westwood. Then she finally caught my attention because she mentioned her and her boyfriend had a 3 year old son. Then I returned back to reality...

We went to Nordstrom (hella fine chicks at the makeup department, that's why I don't mind going there...) then went to get lunch at P.F. Changs. Then we went back to the hotel to rest and get ready for the wedding.

The wedding was at a country club. Very nice ceremony and reception. I was seated next to a mestisa 18 y.o. Shit if my girlfriend wasn't sitting next to me I was gonna hook it up! But I just engaged in small talk with her and her mom.

It was good seeing family and hot girls. My girl looked hot too, all dolled up. I never brought a date to a wedding before. Shit, when it rains it pours! It seems like all the ladies want to get to know you if you bring a date. At least I got a lot of attention.

We then stop by an uncle's mansion to bullshit. I wanted to go back and fuck. But we were stuck. Finally we go back to the hotel room and same thing: wait for the parents to fall asleep so we can do it. This time...no rubber! And this time, I lasted a little longer...about a minute and 30 seconds longer. I honestly don't remember coming. I was tired and wanted to sleep more. I then promised her we'd do it again, for redemption purposes. So we slept in, my parents went to breakfast and we went to Bucktown. First we did it in bed. Then we did it on the bathroom sink (just in case my parents walked in). Then we got ready and left for lunch at my aunt's house in Crockett.

I like her alot. She loves me. Shit I'm going to break her heart. So she might break mine first. She has a poor track record. I can't help but use her past against her. But for now, she's the only piece I'm hitting raw. And since it's so far and few I still enjoy it.

Dad made me promise that I'd never marry her. Shit that was deep, only because old man NEVER asks for much. I reassured him that she was just a great girl to be with but she brings nothing to the table and I'll never fall in love with her.

I'll see her again in 2-3 weeks. But before then, gotta go to Barcelona and surrounding areas for a homeboy's wedding!

I'm ANONYMOUS for a reason...

If you have been invited to read this blog, please protect my privacy...I still want to run for President in 2020 and my counterparts will use this against me and it'll destroy my campaign.

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...

Sorry I've been away for a while. Here's a recap of what has happened:

-I dropped out of my class @ UCLA.
-My girl never got pregnant (she had her period 2 weeks ago).
-I'm 30 years and 13 days old today.
-I have 100 members on my book of business to date.
-I have been on Adderrall for 6 days.

I bombed my quizzes and didn't go on the class field trip because my girlfriend was here. I was hollering at this half White, half Chinese girl who was really cute too. Also a central American girl too. Just never got into the class and never kept up with the reading. Looks like my projected graduation date is Fall 2008. Still in line with my New Year's resolution, nonetheless.

===

So my girl has been menstruating (whew!). We have been using condoms (for the first round) and spermicide capsules (sporadically thereafter). The withdrawal method is still being practiced. I guess I like playing Russian Roulette. I'm a fucking idiot a.k.a. an idiot who likes to fuck unprotected with my girl knowing that she won't get on the pill and won't have an abortion.

===

For my 30th, I got a cruise to Ensenada, a tie, cash, a bday dinner @ O bar, and a VIP table at Opera in Hollywood for my birthday...

I think I'm more immature than my girlfriend of 24.

She was over last weekend and saw a picture of me and a friend (who was a girl). When she asked me who it was, I lied and said it was my cousin. She knew I was lying and I hated how she was being so jealous (nothing ever happened between me and the girl, it's just a great pic because we had a VIP table at PURE in Vegas holding up a Grey Goose bottle; $49 at the grocery store, $399 + gratuity at the club.) So hell yeah I'm going to show off that picture! It's a great conversation piece...!

Well, didn't make for great conversation this time:

So she asked me and I lied she got really jealous and mad. I got really frustrated and started crying like a 5-year old kid wanting to go out and play even though it was cold and raining and his mom wouldn't let him...I just wanted her to be in a good mood so we can have sex. I forced tears and wiped it on her stomach saying, "Baby, I never cheated on you and never will...she's just a friend...I'll take it down and put our picture up..."

It was a Emmy performance! Well not really, maybe I did get misty-eyed because she was only here for 2 nights and 3 days and she was acting like this?!?!? Anyways the tears spilled and that all that matters! She hugged me and was shocked that I was "crying." Then we started making out and then hurried downstairs for some great sex. I should be an actor!

I still feel bad though, because she told me she knew I was lying and so I promised never to lie to her again...I'll have to pinky swear it when I see her next.

===

Business is finally picking up. I have developed a strategy to meet with more groups and gain more members (warm calling, prospecting, following-up and closing.) I have finally found the light at the end of tunnel and have to continue my grind so I can have 500 members by the end of the year.

===

So I'm doing a trial run on the amphetamine. Hope it works. But so far the side effects have been:

-Loss in appetite
-Excessive sweating
-Nausea
-Anxiety

I want to get a novel and see if I can finish it. Maybe an Encyclopedia Britannica.

I consult with my doctor (my dad) today. Have to drive up to San Francisco to attend a wedding. It's all good...I see my girlfriend tonight she's flying in! Only thing is that we're sharing a room with my parents. My broke ass needs to save money (I'm going to Barcelona for a friend's wedding next week!!!) So we're probably going to have sex in the minivan (again)!

Sorry again for being away.

My girl's period is late...

My financial hardships got a quick fix...Kaiser sent me a bonus check, the state and the feds sent me checks for my tax returns...phew....now I can breathe...

BUT, my girlfriend who I have had a lot of sex with hasn't gotten her period. It's like 2-3 weeks late already. I wish she would have gotten on the pill already. I wish I didn't enjoy having unprotected sex so much. I wish the withdrawal method was 100% safe. Shit man, just babysitting my niece all week allowed me to realize that I'm not ready for a kid. I was chatting with her letting her know this, but she kept on saying how hot it was that I was babysitting. Fuck that! No kids, not right now.

I see her again on the 23rd. I can't let this slide until then.

I need to make an overseas call to make sure she's cool. She got into a bad car accident. Testing me too, asking "if she would have died, would I cry?" Look baby, I don't have time for this bullshit. This is a long distance relationship. When we are together, we are boyfriend-girlfriend. When we're apart, we gotta take care of ourselves and be independent. Dunno if this is gonna last...the sex is great but it's getting pretty complicated.

I'm taking a class @ UCLA. It seems really cool. Not to forget to mention that there are 3-4 hot girls in the class. I gotta be cool and know my shit. Because I need an "A" to graduate. And I want to get in their pants. All 3-4 girls.

It's too nice of a day to have a head cold...

I just got back from Washington D.C. It was cold, we did a lot of walking and it was cold. The airplane is a breeding ground for viruses. I think I got one.

Not a bad place however. Am I more patriotic? Not at all. Only because I heard that we're down $60 billion with the Iraq war. Shit Bush, hook me up with $1 million and I'll wave a flag. So yeah, I'm a sellout.

I downed some Day Quil and some Taco Bell. What the hell is wrong with me???

Have a meeting with a T-Shirt design company. Let me see if he needs insurance. I have some great ideas for T-shirts. Maybe he can print some off for free. After all, summer is right around the corner. Perfect T-shirt and jeans weather. Fuck a $40 T-shirt. I'm gonna design my own for $5 bitches!!!

I lost my ass the other night at the homies' playing cards. Lost $80. Then I went to Commerce and lost $60. I've been playing like shit lately.

Got a check from a carrier...I may have to go back to Commerce to seek revenge...

Ok time is up. Got 8 minutes and I got to feed the meter and walk a couple of blocks to cafe. I so want a coffee but I'm going to sacrifice until Sunday morning. Shit man, if Jesus Christ can be in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, I think I can go 3 days without coffee...or can I?

My girl is coming on the 26th! Bucktown baby! Here we go again, unprotected sex and the risk of pregnancy. Why?

Happy Easter people!

White lines...

My cousin is such an Indian giver. He says he has a present for me (coke). So he let's me keep it. And now he's asking for it back...I'm gonna have to do a monster line now.

I need a Rx for Ritalin!?!?!?!?!

They say 2008 is a recession year. They're right. I'm broke as a joke.

I left Kaiser Permanente to start brokering insurance as an independent agent. I miss my $2800/month. However, I don't miss bullshitting with my 40 year old ex-coworkers. I hated the cubicle lifestyle. Having 3 makeshift walls, a phone with 2 lines, a company cellphone and restricted limited internet access just wasn't a good fit for me.

I love the freedom of owning my own business. I love calling my own shots and being my own boss. I fuckin love it. And I may lose it very soon if I don't sign up a new client quickly. By quickly I mean by the end of the month.

So my office is out of the house. The only distraction I have is being on my own time schedule. And I'm a Gemini so my mind is everywhere running @ 300 miles per hour. Let me tell you what I used to do, and maybe it'll explain my Attention Deficit Disorder Hyper Activity mental illness that I self-diagnosed myself. Shit, I still haven't graduated UCLA as I'm entering my 10th year as a candidate of a B.A. of Psychology. I failed out of school (please don't tell Mom and Dad, they think I'm done. Everytime they ask to see my degree, I'm like "Mom, Dad, it's still at the office, I haven't had the time to pick it up yet...)

Back to my ADD/HA disorder:

I get bored easily. I love gambling. I have challenges reading a book from start to finish. I've had jobs in retail, entertainment, and now insurance. I love Hollywood and the limelight. I was a talent agent, (not a successful one) because Arnold Schwarzenegger required all agents to post a $50,000 bond per year (which yielded $5000 a year for the insurance premium. Fuck that, I can be a manager and still charge 20% and not have to deal with the red tape.) Still, I wasn't on the phone 10 hours a day hooking up with casting directors all day. I was living in Thousand Oaks with the parents...

My first job was at Mann Theatres: sweeping popcorn, making popcorn, selling tickets at the box office. Then I moved on to Footlocker, Macy's and Structure (now the Limited for Men...shit I'd work at Victoria's Secret...okay so I have perversion tendencies). Then I sold advertising spots for a university magazine and have done dozens of bullshit internships. When I left school I was selling Konica copier machines. Then in 2003, my parents' friends had a friend that hooked my up with an underwriting stint at Aetna. From there I've worked at a general agency as a bitch data entry quoter then got my Life and Health license and Property/Casualty license, sold individual policies then worked at Kaiser Permanente.

Insurance is so fucking boring but it's good money.

What I really want to do is produce independent films. Porn? I mean I watch it but I wouldn't produce it. It's great money but it'd get boring after a while. Really. No substance, I'd just be miserable hanging around a bunch of sagging tits, stinky asses, and Viagra overdosed dickheads.

I'm working on one right now called Fill the Void. No, not a porn but an indie flick. It's about a young man who is a successful businessman, athletic, and a role model citizen but who was lonely and met this blonde bombshell who was successful in bussiness too but had a drug addiction problem...

(Dude hold up, I'm at a Coffee Bean in West Hollywood on Sunset and this girl sitting across from me keeps scoping me out...should I stop what I'm doing and look back? I've heard that women are turned on when men are focused on their grind. Even if she was fine, what the fuck am I going to do? I wouldn't be able to take her out on a date. I'm a goddamm broke insurance broker. Fuck her, she's with her girlfriends, don't mind her. Ah shit, her other girlfriend just sneezed and I could have been a pimp and a gentleman and said "Bless You!" but I ignored it and missed my window of opportunity. Fuck them.)

Now where was I...oh yeah the script. So yeah, I don't have a budget and I don't have a script. I have two actors and a crew who want to work with me for free, but I don't have shit to work with.

So what's the challenge? Goddammit, everytime I start something I can't seem to finish. A book. College. A project. Dad, hook me up with goddam Ritalin will ya? I have ADD! I love coffee! I'm miserable without the stimulant! I gave it up for Lent so on Fridays I don't drink it. Let me put it this way, I'm a real pleasant person and I usually exhuberate radiance, but on Fridays you don't want to be near me...I'm an asshole.

I love doing cocaine. Shit, I have a stash in my pocket right now. I won't do it, becuase too much of one thing makes you an addict. So I try to do it in moderation. Since the beginning of the year, I have done it about 5 or 6 times. Pretty damn good for someone who in 2007 was doing it almost everyday. Need my sleep, so that's why I don't really like it as much.

I'm dating this flight attendant who lives in Manila. She's not super hot but the sex is amazing. We enjoy it. Whenever we're together all we do is stay in the bedroom. We only leave the room to go out and eat, but even when we go out to eat, we make sure to fuck in the car. We're fucking freaks, and I hope to God that I didn't get her pregnant. But I like her, she respects me and I respect her and when I think about her I get a chubby. Yes it's lust and infatuation, but it's a great natural high.

(Goddammit the girls in front of me are talking about sex. Why are we so sexually deprived animals? This is fucking L.A. one of the biggest cities in the world! We should all stop hiding behind our Chanel shades, cellphones and drop top BMWs and be mating!!!)

So what the hell. So yeah, I'm getting bored with this. And this coffee is causing me to wanna take a shit. And my battery is running out of battery and I don't have the plug, left it at home. Didn't plan to be here all night long. Be back soon.

Expect the unexpected

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Uncle Sam, you owe me $$$!!!

Today was a decent day. Didn't set any appointments, but I made some phone calls and got to speak to some decision makers. It was a nice, warm day. Real tired from last night. My cousin and I went to Opera, a club in Hollywood. Nice venue. I promised the promoter I would start promoting for him, so we can get in without having to waiting in line. We did. Dude says he's a quarter Pinoy. I guess I believe him. Nice guy, he hooked me up w/ 3 drink tickets. I dropped off my cousin home, did a monster bump of coke went back in the club and I talked to 4 different girls. I'll definitely come back. I love going out mid-week. Then I had the itch to go to the casino and play Blackjack. So in the parking lot I did a monster line, walked in Commerce drunk and high and I won $105 in like 20 minutes...then I left because my goal was to win between $80 and $200. I could have walked away with $110 but being the big tipper I am I tipped my dealer and the cashier attendant. Plus, didn't want to stay too long because I promised my girl that I was going to chat with her at 3am. So I went home, brushed my teeth, and got into bed with my laptop. We started chatting about each other's day, then we started chatting dirty. Before I knew it, we were having cybersex (no webcam unfortunately). We were messaging each other while playing with ourselves. She says it was her first time. It was mine too, if you don't count looking at internet porn and wacking off. We're freaks, I know. Can't wait to see her on Saturday night in San Francisco for some freakish hot sex...

I'm so tired. I came to Thousand Oaks to get my W-2 statement and see my folks, but I don't want to see my parents. I look like shit, and I'm broke. I have nothing but bad news. Well at least the Feds are gonna cut me a $10,000 check for my income tax return. Hope I don't get audited...that reminds me the State owes me unemployment! I have a hearing next week. I'm going to put on a performance, and cry like a bitch in front of the judge to get my $1400 a month. Motherfuckers. Shit it's my Social Security money. Not theirs. And I won't need it when I'm 60 with gray pubic hairs. I need it NOW!

Oh yeah, and fuck the old man with the multi level marketing scheme. It's $50 a month. Fucking asshole is trying to close me. Trying to say "how intelligent of a young man I am but how foolish I am for letting this opportunity to be very rich go by." Yeah old man? Then YOU pay for my $50 a month you old fuck!