Saturday, August 30, 2008

Lost Wages, Nevada

Sin City. Gotta love this place.

It's every grown mans' Disneyworld.


I'll tell you why:

-Drugs (mostly alcohol, but other substances are consumed here as well)
-Rock and roll, oldies, hip-hop, house, jazz, etc.
-Butt naked ladies dancing to R & R, oldies, hip-hop, house, jazz, etc.
-The chance to make money
-The chance to escape the everyday mundane world of waking up in the morning, shaving, driving to work in traffic, clocking in, having lunch with co-workers, daydreaming in the cubicle, clocking out, driving home in traffic, prime time TV...

It's Labor Day Weekend here. I have some friends here that want to hang out.

But it's going to be the same thing as times past: get to the club, get denied access, and get forced to hand over the credit card and ID so we can pop bottles at the table.

After the VIP entrance experience, and having eyes of envy watch us enter the venue, the half naked cocktail waitress/hostess hands over a menu of overpriced bottles. Vodka that usually retails for $40 at the grocery store is priced at $400. With mixers you are looking at $650 for 4 guests at your table. Hmmmmph!!!

Is the $650 worth it? Maybe. If you are able to close on one of the many girls who approach your table that ask if it's "okay to sit at your table because their feet hurt..." but in reality they want free drinks and they think you're a baller so you're thinking you're going to get laid. Hmmmmmph! I honestly think these clubs hire hot looking girls to flirt with male patrons...

I'm going to have dinner with my friend who works at Spearmint Rhino and who recently got fake breasts.

I'm going to play the Mr. Nice Guy and the innocent idiot, and be like "Wow you look more beautiful then ever! I don't know what it is, I can't put my finger on it..." and deny that I know that she got fake tits.

Upon revealing that she got a boob job, I'm going to ask:

Do you mind if I touch them?"

She's great; she's El Salvadorian and is real skinny and has a nice ass. Cute face with DSLs. No silly, not Digital Subscriber Line you freaking dork...

My roommate says I have no chance. He thinks she's a lesbian. He could be right or he could be wrong, but I'm a goddamm equal opportunity employer! I don't hate or discriminate...bisexual candiates who are hired recieve a signing bonus, paid vacation, and employer sponsored benefits.

Funny thing is...she is the girl that was in a photo pouring a Grey Goose bottle that I used to display in my house until my girlfriend saw it and got jealous...

So wish me luck. Planning to take her to Cheesecake Factory or something decent. I just had a big dinner so I'm probably going to order something small so she doesn't order alot too and I can save money. If we both drink tonight, it's on like Teflon, because she doesn't have work until 4am. We're supposed to grab a bite @ 8pm. That's a lot of down time...for me to feel her up time!

If I can't take it back to her pad and hit before she has to leave for work, then I'm going to a locals' bar to try my luck at some Vegas sluts.

Fuck a club, I'm good.

I left Hollywood this weekend for a reason.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thursday night fright...

I am bored. I am tired. I want to sleep. But I can't.

So I want to go out. I want to meet some nice girls who want to have a one night stand. C'mon bitches come right over! I just changed my sheets and fluffed my pillows. My Lovesac (it's not a beanbag!) is ready for some hot ass...

I want to walk to the salsa club a block away but I keep changing my mind. One time I tried to sneak in with my roommate but we got kicked out because we didn't want to pay cover. There were some hot Latinas in there. I don't know shit about Salsa dancing. I can Cha-Cha but it looks way more technical. I'm thinking it's going to be a slow night, since it's Labor Day Weekend coming up and people are saving their money and energy for it. Fuck that...I'm sure there are girls out there that are feeling the way I'm feeling right now. Gotta go get them...

Last night I got yayed out (no wonder I'm not sleepy) and played tennis and cards. My tennis game was on for the 1st set then it faded away as the coke was sweating out of my pores. I do believe I need uppers to concentrate, because as time lapsed my shots were going in the net, out of bounds, etc.

I closed a deal today! Met with the decision maker and HR lady who I have been in contact with. Fucking asshole was playing hard to get. Then he left it as "we'll get back to you in a couple of weeks..." Then I left the company disappointed. Motherfucker.

While I was pumping gas the HR lady called and said he liked me and signed the Broker of Record letter. Bullshit! But I checked my email on my iPhone a couple hours later and Voila!

Thanks dude! This calls for a monster line and some drinks with my cousin and roommate. A night cap would be bonus for a boner and a very productive day...luck? I don't need luck. Just a slut...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Four cups of coffee...

Yup. Need it in the morning to jump start my day. I grind my beans super fine so I can get the most caffeine out of them.

Now I'm on the toilet, wanting to share my thoughts.

Today is Monday. I have this thing about Mondays. Mondays are a bad day to prospect, only because all of the world doesn't want to be in office. The working force is reluctant to make the commute to the workplace on Monday because the weekend wasn't long enough. They need a weekend from the weekend.

Go ahead and find out. Get up out of your cubicle and ask the employee in the corner cubicle (who by the way is logged on to Yahoo games) "How was your weekend?"

Your coworker will immediately press ALT + TAB to exit out of the screen so you won't know he's bullshitting at work, and will reply, "Not long enough..."

So Mondays are a tough day to prospect, because no one wants to be at work. Sales is a challenge already. Don't fuck with the gatekeeper who is in a bad mood because she hates her job. Not only that, she's got 40 or more hours ahead of her until 5pm Friday. She's in a bad situation.

I texted the nurse this morning and told her that I was going to call her today...wait, do you know about the nurse?

Let me tell you about the nurse:

I went out with my cousin and roommate to different spots in Hollywood on a Friday night, probably like 3-4 weeks ago. I was outside smoking a cigarette on the ground (there were no chairs and my legs felt like Jello) when this cute Pinay walks up to me bumming a cigarrette.

After giving her a hard time, "Let me see you're ID...I don't give cigarrettes to minors..."

and throwing out my infamous lines such as:

"Don't forget to wear your retainer, because I want you to keep your beautiful smile..."


"Can I call you sometime or will your boyfriend get mad...."

(This is a 50/50 chance. If they have a boyfriend, or say they do but they don't, the rebuttal is: "Awesome! Us three should get coffee/tea/Jamba Juice sometime...")

I need more girls on the squad. My MVP is cool but there's no I in TEAM. I need a REDEEM TEAM that performs internationally and wins the GOLD.

So I'm trying to get this nurse on the team.

Ah man, when we went camping there were 3 hot Latinas that my client knew that were camping with us. The hottest one was married but the other two were nice, one was blond and the other one was a brunette. My fantasy was to bone my girlfriend and when she fell asleep, sneak into the bisexual girls' tent and have a hot raging threesome with them...but a babysitter can't leave the baby alone. And shit I wanted out of our tent so bad...forgot to sweep the dirt below our tent and was sleeping on a couple of rocks and twigs!

At the wedding reception on Saturday, there were some very cute girls. But because I was babysitting and I had cockblocker as a date, I didn't holla. Just stared. And that's why GF wanted to leave the party already...she knew the deal.

Here's a proposition when I'm not with her:

"So I, (anonymous), swear to start hollering at breezies whenever I get the chance. Not only is it good for business, it is good for networking, for meeting more girls, and to have sex with other girls when my girlfriend isn't around. And, if I were to break up with my girlfriend, I will have a bench who can score 100+ points, grab 50+ rebounds on any given night."

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Getting bored...

It's been almost 8 months; we've done it about 200+ times in the Discovery, the Sienna, my sister's house living room floor, in my closet, on a sofabed with my parents in the same room, in a tent, on a futon, an office chair, a bathtub, shower stalls, bathroom sink counters, and of course: my bed.

I'm an animal, and she's down...

We've had 4 good fights; all teasing the possibility of breaking up. The most recent was resolved because I booked a cruise for the both of us; if I cancel the reservation, Carnival keeps my $500.
She was here August 14-16 then again on August 20 until today. We had that fight on the the 11th then I called her the same day and apologized because I knew she was coming on the 14th and I wanted to buck.

Recap of recent Cupcake Marathon:

Had great sex on Wednesday night.

Thursday morning I cooked bacon, pork chops and eggs while she made fried rice. We had breakfast then went back to sleep. We watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona after eating soup and pizza at night. We probably fucked like 5 times on this day.

Friday we walked around the mall and visited stores in Glendale to look for a dress for Saturday night. Couldn't find shit; the dresses that I liked she didn't like. Thank God Bebe had nothing; it was her favorite store and if she had found something there I would have been out $150+! We drove up to Lake Isabella to go camping with a client and his group of friends. We got there around 9pm, I pitched the tent, and then made BBQ chicken. She wanted to fuck in woods. I didn't because it was wide open and the one dude and his kids were shining Maglights in the air and knew we walked away from the campsite. I wasn't about to provide a porno scene for them. So I held off until we got to the tent.

The next day (Saturday) they made chorizo, pork adobo, and eggs. Not a bad breakfast. We played volleyball until about 12pm, when we had decided it was time to go.
Arrived home, took a nap, got ready for the wedding reception; part two of the newlyweds' ceremony in Spain last month.

Today (Sunday) we slept all day. I made her maccaroni and cheese and a pastrami sandwich. Today alone we had sex 5 times.

So she tells me that she loves me.

"Baby, I'm almost in love with you..." is all that I can tell her.

It's my out.

So yeah my dick is sore and I won't get to bust another nut for about 10 days.

In the meantime I'm going to get my grind and hustle on because I got bills to pay.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Love is...(part two, a.k.a. ahem, bullshit)

Thursday night was fun, went to Libertine with a homey. That place has so much potential, just so many dudes. Why not, it's free to get in, no dress code, yadayadayada. DJs spin good house music.

I drove home back to Thousand Oaks. Slept in until 10:30am. Didn't work much. Left for Fresno around 5pm.

Weekend was good, my niece is a funny kid. She's a real moody kid. If she's not in the mood, then forget it, she's a handful. Otherwise she's real cute and has a lot of personality. She tries to act 13 but she's only 2.

Last night, I was on Skype with the girlfriend.

"Do you love me? No? Well I'm giving you 2 years to figure it out."

I did my infamous fake crying, said I was sleepy and demanded to log off so I can rest.

I woke up realizing that the honeymoon is over. She wants to get past the stage of infatuation, and wants some type of reassurrance that this is not just a physical relationship. I can't lie to her. I respect her too much.

So when she arrives here on the 14th, I'm going to make her take a pregnancy test. (Knock on wood.)

Then I'm going to have to break it off, and tell her that "we will remain very good friends and that's it."

I thought that she was a young girl just wanting to have fun. I guessed wrong, she's a mature 25 year old who wants security, stability, and to settle down.

I'm a 30 year old who is still soul searching who wants a paid dime piece to take me shopping, massage my back, and wine and dine me.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Eight eight Oh eight...

It's infinity vertically.

It's what the Chinese deem as a lucky number.

It's once in a lifetime.

I'm going to be on the road up to Fresno. But before that, I'm gonna try my luck at some cards. The only thing is, I have a Salsa lesson in Thousand Oaks tonight. Then I may just stay there and bullshit with my parents. There are no casinos nearby. The closest one is Chumash, which is an hour and forty five minutes deep, past Santa Barbara. I'm good.

My girlfriend and I have been fighting alot. Well, I pick the fights. Like the other day, I was pissed off at her saying that she's "so fat and needs to lose weight." I put her on blast and told her to stop eating junk food and start working out. Then she's like "Why don't you find a new girlfriend who goes to the gym alot and is in shape?" Then I recalled all the hotties at my gym, and asked myself why I have only gone once in the whole month of July!

Yesterday she pissed me off again because she didn't want to talk online because her friend was in the bedroom sleeping. But then she had the nerve to look at a text a friend sent, then call her up. Stupid bitch! That got me irked, because I wanted to hear her voice.

So I called that nurse I met on Friday. She sounded like she was happy to hear from me. And then she was like "Can I call you back later?" Shit bitch, you mean you want me to chase? Fuck you, I just want to fuck!

Friday, August 1, 2008

30 day supply is bye bye...

I did it: my first month trial of Adderall.

Am I different? Well I've lost weight (maybe 7 lbs.) I am excited about tasks and have more energy. I'm chipper. But have I tried to read a novel from start to finish or complete 100 cold calls? Nope.

(I'm going to see what kind of withdrawals are going to occur.)

July 2008 was a month to remember:

July 2: Amsterdam (4 hour layover)

July 3 to 6: Barcelona (friends' wedding)

July 6 to 8: Pamplona (supposed to run with the bulls but police kicked me out)

July 9 to 10: San Sebastian (awesome beach town 1 hour from Pamplona)

July 11: Biarritz (French beach town)

July 12: Lourdes (French village where Virgin Mary appeared)

July 13: Barcelona

July 14: Returned back to L.A. (I was supposed to come back July 16 but the Euro broke me.)

July 18 (morning): Played the best golf ever in my life at Scholl Canyon.

July 18 (evening) to 20: Spent time with my sister and 2 year old niece.

July 21: Played horrible golf at Rustic Canyon. So as redemption I waited in line at Santa Monica Apple Store for 45 minutes and purchased the new iPhone 3G.

July 23 to 27: My girlfriend flew in. I took her to Magic Mountain, Malibu Beach, Costco, did ecstacy, Target, Off Broadway Saks Shoestore, Irvine (friend's housewarming with a taco chef). Oh yeah, we went to Bucktown like 20+ times. I pulled out every single time. But like always I'm scared. She should menstruate 2nd-3rd week of August...I'm really start to like this chick but I still have my guard up. The sex is amazing still to this day...I hope she's not pregnant...

July 27 (evening): Dinner with friends and then poker. Won $40!

July 28: On the phone dealing with client's issues all day. Mostly service, not so much sales. Not if you count the numerous outgoing marketing faxes I sent out. At night played poker again and lost $40.

July 29: Made outbound sales calls and faxes. Set one appointment. Watched the Dodgers whip on the Giants'. Got ramen. Called and told my girlfriend I missed her.

July 30: First appointment with leasing company (waste of time). Fucker wanted me to work magic (i.e. lower his rates but keep the same benefits.) Dropped by a client's retail store to see if he was there. Nope. Pissed off and frustrated on the drive back home, magic occurred: my phone rings and I was contacted by a bottle printing company. She told me she got my fax and wanted to meet with me. About 20 members! The faxes are working!!! Meeting went well she told me to create a spreadsheet for her and email it by morning. I exceeded her expectations and emailed it before end of business day. I'm going to close!!! Played cards again at night. Lost $20. I was up $20, but got donkeyed out by my homey. Got super coked out and drunk on beers. Smoked a lot of cigarettes.

July 31: 5am chatted with my girlfriend for a couple of hours. Napped for an hour. Tried to phone my potential client. Phones are down and no voicemail available. I email her. She emails me. I email her the Broker of Record letter for her to fill out and send back. She thinks I'm going to charge her fees. I reassure her no by sending her an attachment, an email forward and an 800 # to call so she can verify. Didn't hear back from her all day. Was caught up trying to install a group's dental plan, and answered another incoming call for a family quote, (the faxes are working). Tried to call her @ 4pm. Voicemail full. Bitch, you need me! Let me help you out so you can help me out with the $14.34 per member per month! Called my homey who needed car insurance. He was busy. Chatted with my girlfriend for 2.5 hours. Shared pictures with her. Bullshitted. Wanted to go out and meet women but am burned out. My body is burned out, but my mind is very active. Shit I may have taken the Adderrall too late today...and drank 4 cups of coffee too many! It's 1:16am and I'm wired still. Maybe I should have rolled out to lounge. Oh well, my financials are fucked up right now and I don't really want to spend money. I got my free credit report. Good thing I have to pay for the score. I bet the Boston Celtics can score more points in 4 quarters versus my credit score...yikes! Good news though...I have 3 credit cards that are still open and have $13,000 to fuck with. Uh oh, here we go again...didn't I learn my lesson from the first time in 2005? When I cashed out $80K in equity to pay off credit cards?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? That's okay...I'm going to Commerce Casino and will play $1000/$2000 no limit Hold 'Em...but before I do that I'm going to pop some bottles at a hot night club. And maybe hit up a strip joint...hahahaha! I need another cigarette. Good night/morning...