Monday, June 30, 2008

Love is...

So the drive to the Bay Area was a bitch; my parents and I lagged so we finally get to pick up my girlfriend at her hotel around 12:30am. I told her 10:30-11pm. That's why being the pimp I am I packed her a to-go box from my cousin's house with her favorite foods: fried fish, veggies, Dinuguan, and some white rice. She wasn't mad at all.

We get to the hotel room and the set up was a major cockblock. We get the sofa hideaway bed which faced my parents' bed. Yay! But being the freaks we are, I made sure my parents were in deep sleep (snoring was a good sign), slipped on a rubber and was hitting it sideways. Since I haven't nutted in 3 days, my parents were in the same room, and I was tired, I came like in 45 seconds. Sorry girlfriend, I get mine and you don't.

We wake up and get the free breakfast and meet with family. We then get ready to go out. San Ramon is dead so we go to Walnut Creek. Nice spot.

AND THEN...guess who I run into at the H&M store? The first girl I lost my virginity to when I was 21 years old! SMALL MOTHER FUCKING WORLD!

I spotted a short mestisa girl. I mean how can I forget her? She's really cute and she's a sex bunny. I called her, and she didn't recognize me at first...well no shit Sherlock, the sex was awful for her and it was my first time...of course she won't remember me! I reintroduce myself and she smiles and gives me a big hug. I blushed and cheesed at the same time. All the memories came back to me. I remember asking her questions so she could do all the talking while I recalled the hot sex we had at my apartment in Westwood. Then she finally caught my attention because she mentioned her and her boyfriend had a 3 year old son. Then I returned back to reality...

We went to Nordstrom (hella fine chicks at the makeup department, that's why I don't mind going there...) then went to get lunch at P.F. Changs. Then we went back to the hotel to rest and get ready for the wedding.

The wedding was at a country club. Very nice ceremony and reception. I was seated next to a mestisa 18 y.o. Shit if my girlfriend wasn't sitting next to me I was gonna hook it up! But I just engaged in small talk with her and her mom.

It was good seeing family and hot girls. My girl looked hot too, all dolled up. I never brought a date to a wedding before. Shit, when it rains it pours! It seems like all the ladies want to get to know you if you bring a date. At least I got a lot of attention.

We then stop by an uncle's mansion to bullshit. I wanted to go back and fuck. But we were stuck. Finally we go back to the hotel room and same thing: wait for the parents to fall asleep so we can do it. This rubber! And this time, I lasted a little longer...about a minute and 30 seconds longer. I honestly don't remember coming. I was tired and wanted to sleep more. I then promised her we'd do it again, for redemption purposes. So we slept in, my parents went to breakfast and we went to Bucktown. First we did it in bed. Then we did it on the bathroom sink (just in case my parents walked in). Then we got ready and left for lunch at my aunt's house in Crockett.

I like her alot. She loves me. Shit I'm going to break her heart. So she might break mine first. She has a poor track record. I can't help but use her past against her. But for now, she's the only piece I'm hitting raw. And since it's so far and few I still enjoy it.

Dad made me promise that I'd never marry her. Shit that was deep, only because old man NEVER asks for much. I reassured him that she was just a great girl to be with but she brings nothing to the table and I'll never fall in love with her.

I'll see her again in 2-3 weeks. But before then, gotta go to Barcelona and surrounding areas for a homeboy's wedding!

Friday, June 27, 2008

I'm ANONYMOUS for a reason...

If you have been invited to read this blog, please protect my privacy...I still want to run for President in 2020 and my counterparts will use this against me and it'll destroy my campaign.

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...

Sorry I've been away for a while. Here's a recap of what has happened:

-I dropped out of my class @ UCLA.
-My girl never got pregnant (she had her period 2 weeks ago).
-I'm 30 years and 13 days old today.
-I have 100 members on my book of business to date.
-I have been on Adderrall for 6 days.

I bombed my quizzes and didn't go on the class field trip because my girlfriend was here. I was hollering at this half White, half Chinese girl who was really cute too. Also a central American girl too. Just never got into the class and never kept up with the reading. Looks like my projected graduation date is Fall 2008. Still in line with my New Year's resolution, nonetheless.


So my girl has been menstruating (whew!). We have been using condoms (for the first round) and spermicide capsules (sporadically thereafter). The withdrawal method is still being practiced. I guess I like playing Russian Roulette. I'm a fucking idiot a.k.a. an idiot who likes to fuck unprotected with my girl knowing that she won't get on the pill and won't have an abortion.


For my 30th, I got a cruise to Ensenada, a tie, cash, a bday dinner @ O bar, and a VIP table at Opera in Hollywood for my birthday...

I think I'm more immature than my girlfriend of 24.

She was over last weekend and saw a picture of me and a friend (who was a girl). When she asked me who it was, I lied and said it was my cousin. She knew I was lying and I hated how she was being so jealous (nothing ever happened between me and the girl, it's just a great pic because we had a VIP table at PURE in Vegas holding up a Grey Goose bottle; $49 at the grocery store, $399 + gratuity at the club.) So hell yeah I'm going to show off that picture! It's a great conversation piece...!

Well, didn't make for great conversation this time:

So she asked me and I lied she got really jealous and mad. I got really frustrated and started crying like a 5-year old kid wanting to go out and play even though it was cold and raining and his mom wouldn't let him...I just wanted her to be in a good mood so we can have sex. I forced tears and wiped it on her stomach saying, "Baby, I never cheated on you and never will...she's just a friend...I'll take it down and put our picture up..."

It was a Emmy performance! Well not really, maybe I did get misty-eyed because she was only here for 2 nights and 3 days and she was acting like this?!?!? Anyways the tears spilled and that all that matters! She hugged me and was shocked that I was "crying." Then we started making out and then hurried downstairs for some great sex. I should be an actor!

I still feel bad though, because she told me she knew I was lying and so I promised never to lie to her again...I'll have to pinky swear it when I see her next.


Business is finally picking up. I have developed a strategy to meet with more groups and gain more members (warm calling, prospecting, following-up and closing.) I have finally found the light at the end of tunnel and have to continue my grind so I can have 500 members by the end of the year.


So I'm doing a trial run on the amphetamine. Hope it works. But so far the side effects have been:

-Loss in appetite
-Excessive sweating

I want to get a novel and see if I can finish it. Maybe an Encyclopedia Britannica.

I consult with my doctor (my dad) today. Have to drive up to San Francisco to attend a wedding. It's all good...I see my girlfriend tonight she's flying in! Only thing is that we're sharing a room with my parents. My broke ass needs to save money (I'm going to Barcelona for a friend's wedding next week!!!) So we're probably going to have sex in the minivan (again)!

Sorry again for being away.