Friday, February 29, 2008

White lines...

My cousin is such an Indian giver. He says he has a present for me (coke). So he let's me keep it. And now he's asking for it back...I'm gonna have to do a monster line now.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I need a Rx for Ritalin!?!?!?!?!

They say 2008 is a recession year. They're right. I'm broke as a joke.

I left Kaiser Permanente to start brokering insurance as an independent agent. I miss my $2800/month. However, I don't miss bullshitting with my 40 year old ex-coworkers. I hated the cubicle lifestyle. Having 3 makeshift walls, a phone with 2 lines, a company cellphone and restricted limited internet access just wasn't a good fit for me.

I love the freedom of owning my own business. I love calling my own shots and being my own boss. I fuckin love it. And I may lose it very soon if I don't sign up a new client quickly. By quickly I mean by the end of the month.

So my office is out of the house. The only distraction I have is being on my own time schedule. And I'm a Gemini so my mind is everywhere running @ 300 miles per hour. Let me tell you what I used to do, and maybe it'll explain my Attention Deficit Disorder Hyper Activity mental illness that I self-diagnosed myself. Shit, I still haven't graduated UCLA as I'm entering my 10th year as a candidate of a B.A. of Psychology. I failed out of school (please don't tell Mom and Dad, they think I'm done. Everytime they ask to see my degree, I'm like "Mom, Dad, it's still at the office, I haven't had the time to pick it up yet...)

Back to my ADD/HA disorder:

I get bored easily. I love gambling. I have challenges reading a book from start to finish. I've had jobs in retail, entertainment, and now insurance. I love Hollywood and the limelight. I was a talent agent, (not a successful one) because Arnold Schwarzenegger required all agents to post a $50,000 bond per year (which yielded $5000 a year for the insurance premium. Fuck that, I can be a manager and still charge 20% and not have to deal with the red tape.) Still, I wasn't on the phone 10 hours a day hooking up with casting directors all day. I was living in Thousand Oaks with the parents...

My first job was at Mann Theatres: sweeping popcorn, making popcorn, selling tickets at the box office. Then I moved on to Footlocker, Macy's and Structure (now the Limited for Men...shit I'd work at Victoria's Secret...okay so I have perversion tendencies). Then I sold advertising spots for a university magazine and have done dozens of bullshit internships. When I left school I was selling Konica copier machines. Then in 2003, my parents' friends had a friend that hooked my up with an underwriting stint at Aetna. From there I've worked at a general agency as a bitch data entry quoter then got my Life and Health license and Property/Casualty license, sold individual policies then worked at Kaiser Permanente.

Insurance is so fucking boring but it's good money.

What I really want to do is produce independent films. Porn? I mean I watch it but I wouldn't produce it. It's great money but it'd get boring after a while. Really. No substance, I'd just be miserable hanging around a bunch of sagging tits, stinky asses, and Viagra overdosed dickheads.

I'm working on one right now called Fill the Void. No, not a porn but an indie flick. It's about a young man who is a successful businessman, athletic, and a role model citizen but who was lonely and met this blonde bombshell who was successful in bussiness too but had a drug addiction problem...

(Dude hold up, I'm at a Coffee Bean in West Hollywood on Sunset and this girl sitting across from me keeps scoping me out...should I stop what I'm doing and look back? I've heard that women are turned on when men are focused on their grind. Even if she was fine, what the fuck am I going to do? I wouldn't be able to take her out on a date. I'm a goddamm broke insurance broker. Fuck her, she's with her girlfriends, don't mind her. Ah shit, her other girlfriend just sneezed and I could have been a pimp and a gentleman and said "Bless You!" but I ignored it and missed my window of opportunity. Fuck them.)

Now where was I...oh yeah the script. So yeah, I don't have a budget and I don't have a script. I have two actors and a crew who want to work with me for free, but I don't have shit to work with.

So what's the challenge? Goddammit, everytime I start something I can't seem to finish. A book. College. A project. Dad, hook me up with goddam Ritalin will ya? I have ADD! I love coffee! I'm miserable without the stimulant! I gave it up for Lent so on Fridays I don't drink it. Let me put it this way, I'm a real pleasant person and I usually exhuberate radiance, but on Fridays you don't want to be near me...I'm an asshole.

I love doing cocaine. Shit, I have a stash in my pocket right now. I won't do it, becuase too much of one thing makes you an addict. So I try to do it in moderation. Since the beginning of the year, I have done it about 5 or 6 times. Pretty damn good for someone who in 2007 was doing it almost everyday. Need my sleep, so that's why I don't really like it as much.

I'm dating this flight attendant who lives in Manila. She's not super hot but the sex is amazing. We enjoy it. Whenever we're together all we do is stay in the bedroom. We only leave the room to go out and eat, but even when we go out to eat, we make sure to fuck in the car. We're fucking freaks, and I hope to God that I didn't get her pregnant. But I like her, she respects me and I respect her and when I think about her I get a chubby. Yes it's lust and infatuation, but it's a great natural high.

(Goddammit the girls in front of me are talking about sex. Why are we so sexually deprived animals? This is fucking L.A. one of the biggest cities in the world! We should all stop hiding behind our Chanel shades, cellphones and drop top BMWs and be mating!!!)

So what the hell. So yeah, I'm getting bored with this. And this coffee is causing me to wanna take a shit. And my battery is running out of battery and I don't have the plug, left it at home. Didn't plan to be here all night long. Be back soon.

Expect the unexpected

I'm at the office, up in the loft. What did I do today? Cashed a check, wrote out checks, went to post office to drop off last check for my telemarketer, tried to go to the gym but they're doing construction on Cahuenga (filling in potholes so I couldn't make a left turn into my gym). So I decided to come back to the office for my noon telephone meeting. What the fuck old man, I'm supposed to close you on buying insurance. Instead, he's trying to close me on joining him on his e-commerce business. It's a damn good pyramid scheme though, so I may have to do it.

I wanna film myself bullshitting. I think it'd make for great TV. Or film. I want some talent to cruise over. I'm gonna call one up right now, and sell her a dream. Hopefully, she buys it, gets naked and gives me a blowjob. I'm a sick prick, sorry about that.

Yeyhey! Found out my girl got her period two days ago!!! I'm a free man!!!

Uncle Sam, you owe me $$$!!!

Today was a decent day. Didn't set any appointments, but I made some phone calls and got to speak to some decision makers. It was a nice, warm day. Real tired from last night. My cousin and I went to Opera, a club in Hollywood. Nice venue. I promised the promoter I would start promoting for him, so we can get in without having to waiting in line. We did. Dude says he's a quarter Pinoy. I guess I believe him. Nice guy, he hooked me up w/ 3 drink tickets. I dropped off my cousin home, did a monster bump of coke went back in the club and I talked to 4 different girls. I'll definitely come back. I love going out mid-week. Then I had the itch to go to the casino and play Blackjack. So in the parking lot I did a monster line, walked in Commerce drunk and high and I won $105 in like 20 minutes...then I left because my goal was to win between $80 and $200. I could have walked away with $110 but being the big tipper I am I tipped my dealer and the cashier attendant. Plus, didn't want to stay too long because I promised my girl that I was going to chat with her at 3am. So I went home, brushed my teeth, and got into bed with my laptop. We started chatting about each other's day, then we started chatting dirty. Before I knew it, we were having cybersex (no webcam unfortunately). We were messaging each other while playing with ourselves. She says it was her first time. It was mine too, if you don't count looking at internet porn and wacking off. We're freaks, I know. Can't wait to see her on Saturday night in San Francisco for some freakish hot sex...

I'm so tired. I came to Thousand Oaks to get my W-2 statement and see my folks, but I don't want to see my parents. I look like shit, and I'm broke. I have nothing but bad news. Well at least the Feds are gonna cut me a $10,000 check for my income tax return. Hope I don't get audited...that reminds me the State owes me unemployment! I have a hearing next week. I'm going to put on a performance, and cry like a bitch in front of the judge to get my $1400 a month. Motherfuckers. Shit it's my Social Security money. Not theirs. And I won't need it when I'm 60 with gray pubic hairs. I need it NOW!

Oh yeah, and fuck the old man with the multi level marketing scheme. It's $50 a month. Fucking asshole is trying to close me. Trying to say "how intelligent of a young man I am but how foolish I am for letting this opportunity to be very rich go by." Yeah old man? Then YOU pay for my $50 a month you old fuck!