Monday, August 25, 2008

Four cups of coffee...

Yup. Need it in the morning to jump start my day. I grind my beans super fine so I can get the most caffeine out of them.

Now I'm on the toilet, wanting to share my thoughts.

Today is Monday. I have this thing about Mondays. Mondays are a bad day to prospect, only because all of the world doesn't want to be in office. The working force is reluctant to make the commute to the workplace on Monday because the weekend wasn't long enough. They need a weekend from the weekend.

Go ahead and find out. Get up out of your cubicle and ask the employee in the corner cubicle (who by the way is logged on to Yahoo games) "How was your weekend?"

Your coworker will immediately press ALT + TAB to exit out of the screen so you won't know he's bullshitting at work, and will reply, "Not long enough..."

So Mondays are a tough day to prospect, because no one wants to be at work. Sales is a challenge already. Don't fuck with the gatekeeper who is in a bad mood because she hates her job. Not only that, she's got 40 or more hours ahead of her until 5pm Friday. She's in a bad situation.

I texted the nurse this morning and told her that I was going to call her today...wait, do you know about the nurse?

Let me tell you about the nurse:

I went out with my cousin and roommate to different spots in Hollywood on a Friday night, probably like 3-4 weeks ago. I was outside smoking a cigarette on the ground (there were no chairs and my legs felt like Jello) when this cute Pinay walks up to me bumming a cigarrette.

After giving her a hard time, "Let me see you're ID...I don't give cigarrettes to minors..."

and throwing out my infamous lines such as:

"Don't forget to wear your retainer, because I want you to keep your beautiful smile..."

and

"Can I call you sometime or will your boyfriend get mad...."

(This is a 50/50 chance. If they have a boyfriend, or say they do but they don't, the rebuttal is: "Awesome! Us three should get coffee/tea/Jamba Juice sometime...")

I need more girls on the squad. My MVP is cool but there's no I in TEAM. I need a REDEEM TEAM that performs internationally and wins the GOLD.

So I'm trying to get this nurse on the team.

Ah man, when we went camping there were 3 hot Latinas that my client knew that were camping with us. The hottest one was married but the other two were nice, one was blond and the other one was a brunette. My fantasy was to bone my girlfriend and when she fell asleep, sneak into the bisexual girls' tent and have a hot raging threesome with them...but a babysitter can't leave the baby alone. And shit I wanted out of our tent so bad...forgot to sweep the dirt below our tent and was sleeping on a couple of rocks and twigs!

At the wedding reception on Saturday, there were some very cute girls. But because I was babysitting and I had cockblocker as a date, I didn't holla. Just stared. And that's why GF wanted to leave the party already...she knew the deal.

Here's a proposition when I'm not with her:

"So I, (anonymous), swear to start hollering at breezies whenever I get the chance. Not only is it good for business, it is good for networking, for meeting more girls, and to have sex with other girls when my girlfriend isn't around. And, if I were to break up with my girlfriend, I will have a bench who can score 100+ points, grab 50+ rebounds on any given night."

1 comment:

Kurt said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! -K