Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Very Pissed Much

It was a Merry Christmas; the Rhine River cruise was amazing. Got to see European culture. Got to smoke some bubble gum herb and got high as fuck with my little sister. Then it was a mission with my mom trying to put it in containers so we could smuggle it back home. LOL!!! That was the first and probably the last time I'll ever show face high as fuck in front of my parents. Sad thing for them was they got jealous and wanted to smoke too. Well they should have went out with us! LOL!!!

I thought I had a gift waiting for me when I got home to LA: a butt naked Tina. We talked last Sunday night and I told her everything: how I wanted to be with her and I liked her a lot. She revealed that she doesn't want to be vulnerable and isn't ready for anything right now...

We talked again last night for many hours again, and this time she revealed she doesn't like how she talks all the time and I'm just the listener. Shit bitch, I'm a man of few words, and you're a bitch that likes to talk. Someone has to give in and listen right? She pissed me off and I said the reason why I don't want to open up to her just yet is because I'm protecting myself and I feel that if I tell her too much, I may be emotionally vulnerable. One "fuck you" deserves another "fuck you". Then she texted something like "Let's give it a few days until we talk again."

I called her a few hours ago saying let's hook up tonight; she replied "I don't know..." then I rebutted and said "It's a yes or no question (bitch)..." and she said "No." I told her it's fine, and I'll call her later.

The bitch has got major issues. She needs to chill the fuck out. I need to smoke her out and drink, because this relaxes her and then she's down to make out and touch. But all this talking is fucking shit up and it's a big waste of time.

I'm going to cut and paste this and email this shit to her. Bitch!

Phew! Now I feel better...way better!

Thanks for being there for me folks. I really appreciate how you can listen to what I have to say and you will never pre-judge me. I really appreciate how I can tell you everything and be crass and cuss and be gory and you still listen.

2009 was a tumultuous year. LOL!!! BULLSHIT! I got to travel my ass off. Didn't get to save any $$$ though. It's okay though...money made is money spent. I want to live, work to live, and not live to work. I want to enjoy life. And that's what I'm doing.

2010 is going to be a great one. "Fuck bitches. Get money. Fuck niggas. Get money."

Peace out 2009...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy holidays muthafuckas!

Halloween: bartended at my boy's cafe. Dressed up as tiger woods. Made $80.

Thanksgiving: pre-thanksgiving dinner on Tuesday at my pad; got 6 bitches to come over and cooked for them. Cynthia brought Tina, Marissa, Michelle, Sherrie, and Len came over. I've had sex with Marissa already way back in the day; the others I'm working on...Tina is on the radar (see below). Thursday had it at my parent's house; a bunch of my dads side of the family came thru.

Christmas is in two days and now I'm in Europe. Can't sleep. Fucking jet lagging or whatever.

Tina is a cute little Asian piece who I holla'ed at through Cynthia. She's Korean. And she's down: last Wednesday took her out to dinner and at the end of the date did a horrible good night kiss. Dammit!!! All good because I made up for it Friday night after I attended a client holiday party...we got some drinks, she brought some herb, and took it to my house. We drank some more, smoked, kissed, grinded, kissed, grinded...but no sex. She said she was on her period! Fucking lying bitch! Why so late!!! It's the 18th of the month. Have to believe the bitch. She's a runner. But I'm tracking that shit now! Now I can't wait and go home so we can bone already. She's sexy: 5'3" 99lbs...a shorty rocks that I've been needing in my life. Crazy Korean bitch, but I ain't trying to merry a bitch...if only I can continue to remind myself that...thing is she's a Leo and I'm a Gemini and it's written that we freaks in the sheets...I might fall in live with the bitch...

Monday, October 26, 2009

Pacific Northwest trip

Portland. Vancouver. Seattle.

Green. Cold. Damn good seafood.

Not alot of hot chicks. But the ones that were...hot damn!

Portland: no standouts really. Didn't really go out...but I bet at the bars and breweries the hos come out and play.

Vancouver: OMG there was this FINE waitress at this Malaysian resto called Banana Leaf...holy shit she was a dimer. Half Chinese Half White I think Half Asian for sure. Goddammn the food was nasty but she made me give 5 stars for my Yelp review. I wanted to take her home that night. WOW! But how, she got off work late :(

Seattle: There are some hot chicks in Seattle. I'd go back for a weekend...oh yeah...

ANYWAYS I'm tired. It was 7 days of bullshitting with my parents and sister and a hell of a whole lot of driving.

I want to fucking rock out this week and weekend. I don't give a fuck!!! I just wanna fuck!!! Who got the eight ball??? Holla!!!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I guess I don't know shit...

That's why I like asking questions and being curious. That's why I try not to be too opinionated. That's why my pick for the World Series won't be the Yankees vs. Dodgers.

I visited Portland, now in Vancouver, then will be in Seattle tomorrow. I miss L.A., the antics, the traffic, the places, the people.

I am convinced that I will need money in order to live life to the fullest...or at least hang out with people with money...EUREKA! I'm going to start a VIP concierge service!

I don't know much, but I do pick the Lakers vs. Boston for 2010 NBA Finals...

Friday, October 16, 2009

Dammit Doyers...

Joe Torre is a pimp. He know's the deal. He has this series where he wants it.

A Dodger-Yankee World Series would be great for baseball. Let's go Los Angeles. Let's go New York. Let's save the United States from this bullshit recession!

I need cash. I may bet a couple of hundees on the Dodgers TO WIN...double up real quick...oh yeah...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I'd love to cupcake this bitch...

...but she lives all the way in fuckin New York. I met her back in April when she was visiting and have been texting her almost every day since. Thank you AT&T for unlimited texts. But fuck you for charging me $150 every goddammn month for the piece of shit iPhone. I'm switching to Sprint and getting the Blackberry so I can Blackberry Messenger my bitch. Not only that, I need a business phone, not a fuckin iPod Touch with a wannabe phone function.

She's cute huh? Big ol titties. And she's only like 5'4". Awesome. She ain't fat. She's just thick in the right places. It's starting to get chilly at night so she'd be great to spoon with...she's a vegeterian, and she has yet to try my cucumber...

So I called 3 of the 5 numbers I got from the party last week. Only because when I got their numbers, I didn't input their names. So I had to figure out who was who. I called the ugly one because her friend is hot, thank got she was busy so I only had to talk to her for like 5 minutes. I called another chick who I didn't know her name but she didn't pick up...but I was excited because maybe she had her name on her voicemail. Nope. Dammit. The porn star looking one I called and we talked for a little bit. She sounds ghetto on the phone. But that's okay though mang. My dick is an equal opportunity employer.

Okay, enough bullshittin'...gotta grind. Got bills that are stacking while the chips are diminishing...peace out muthafuckers!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Fuck bitches...get money...

"Money, hoes, clothes" is a nice priority list but it should be changed to "money, clothes, then hoes..."

Having capital means having freedom...to travel, to pay for services, to pay for goods.

Bitches are like leech; unless they got their own money (some do but they are not as plentiful) I shouldn't fuck with them...

Last thursday night was cool; it was a homegirl's bday party. There were some hot Latinas there...I got like 5 numbers that night...I was on a mission...

Out of the 5 I woulda fucked all 5 that night...I was a little yayed out and drunk and horny. Haven't busted in a few weeks...

Looking back I want to fuck one girl...she looked like a porn star...I'll keep y'all posted.

My sister, niece and nephew were here all week...super cute! However, it made me realize that I need to start wearing two condoms when I fuck now...

Anyways my sister and bro in law are good: both of them are doctors...lucky kids!!!

I need to get paid so I can settle some debts, have some access to credit, and have a dimer fuck friend...wish me luck...!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

'Cause tonight gonna be a good night...

Recap of Wednesday September 30-Thursday October 1st:

Gyu-kaku Sherman Oaks happy hour:

We ordered 2 warm sake bottles, 1 pitcher of beer, and 5 meats including 2 beef, 2 pork belly, and 1 chicken...grubalicious!!!

I tried to holla at these two breezies at the bar on their iPhones:

"Hi my name is Art...by the way, ever try Ping? No? How about we Bump right now? No? Fuck you then..."

Stupid bitches...I was doing them a favor by hollerin'...

So yeah we drank and got fed well for $40...

Then we went to pumpkin patch...we found one for $9, brought it to cousin's house and carved it...
Afterwards we did a couple of lines then made the drive to Mai Tai in Long Beach...my cousin was hollerin...I got to meet this black chick named Miss Boyer...fuck I forgot her first name :(
All good...I will put her on my portfolio...
And then? No and then. I want to fuck tonight but right and left hand may have to serve...
Good night bitches...

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

What up...

Wow can't believe it's been FOREVER since the last time I wrote...I'm sorry folks.

"Who's the ASSHOLE? Anonymous is the ASSHOLE!!!"

That April trip to Panama and Costa Rica was AMAZING! I had a great time. We didn't get to fuck the chicks we went with but that's okay mang...because we went to this brothel called Golden Time...oh yeah, I got me 2 Columbian girls and had a GOLDEN muthafuckin TIME!

"Vamos conmigo a Los Angeles..."
"No tengo green card...entonces, necesito consarse contigo."
"Bueno! Vamos a iglesia ahora!!!"

I'd like to save up and buy a condo in Panama someday...someday.

May can't remember what I did...

June was cool: coached a co-ed Kickball team which was aight...didn't fuck any bitches but it was still cool. For my birthday just had a BBQ at my boy's house with some tennis, basketball, and a lot of drinking and eating. Some of my bitches showed up which was cool. I tried to film a commercial so I can get some random bitches to show up. They did, but the commercial was a flop. Check it out on YouTube when you have the chance...

July I went to Detroit, Toronto, and Toledo Ohio to attend my aunt's funeral. It was sad, but it was nice to see family I haven't seen in years...

August came and went, pretty sure just bullshitted it away...

September was great! Got to go to Puerto Rico for a week then Hawaii for a weekend! PR was great! I'd love to get a condo there or something...but it's all good because I got free 99...my parents got a timeshare there...holla! Went to a place called Angel Hands. Oh yeah I got me one...she was great...a brunette tall boricua...I fucked her in like 5 positions...shieeeet, gotta get my goddamm $180s worth right? I did a lot of coke and weed there too. And a lot of rum drinking. It was a great time.

Waikiki was very nice. Didn't get to fuck but I did get to spend time with my high school people and the couple who got married there. Just did coke and drank alot. I could have fucked I bet, but I got standards. Dammit I slept on opportunities...there was this one girl at the beach solo styles...there was this one tourist bitch walking around by herself...there were some bitches at the wedding...oh well. Call me Mr. Limp Dick.

I had the greatest sex without a condom this weekend...WITH MY EX! What the fuck right? BLAST FROM THE FUCKIN PAST! It didn't help that I went to another fucking wedding on Saturday and felt lonely. Before that, it didn't help that I went bowling on Thursday night and got super fucked up on beers and vodka. And it didn't help that she called me wanting to hang out...so, it's my duty to please that booty...I made her come alot. Shieeet I came so many times I was shooting blood...LOL joking only...but I did get a blister on the side of my dick from all the rubbing. NO IT'S NOT A WART or anything dirty...I get it there all the time...it's a vein that pops out on the left side of my penis so it's very vulnerable to all the rubbing...

Check out the dialogue of the conversation we had over the phone at the wedding:

ME: "Hey...I want to see you tonight but I just don't want to lead you on. I enjoy being single, but at the same time I respect you enough to let you know that the sex is amazing...and if there's anyway that we can hook up without any drama that'd be great...but if not, let's just hang out and be friends..."

HER: "Yeah I really missed you...I really love you so much...I want to see you one last time tonight. I won't be able to help myself if we do hook up, but I'm glad that you are being honest with me..."

I was going to meet up my cousin at J Lounge solo styles, but she was in Downtown already just chilling, wanting to be with me.

So shit, why throw up a layup when you have a slam dunk???

So yeah, I'm all alone again and my prospects are being annoying bitches. I need to go out more and meet more chicks. So I'm going to do a fat bump of some coke I bought from PR and go to a happy hour with my cousin in a little bit...I hope there are some bitches there...

How's business? Business is okay, just staying afloat. I'm late on my mortgages and HOA and credit card bills...but goddammit Puerto Rico, Hawaii, and all the drinking and eating I've been doing this month has been great...hey banks can I tell you something? FUCK OFF!!!

I'm out...

Friday, March 20, 2009

I just did a line...it's Friday night...about to get some breezies...

and I'm feeling aight!!!

About to go out and get something.

I'm free as a bird.

I'm ready to get something cool.

Wait, before I go just wanted to let you all know that I'm leaving for Panama and Costa Rica on April 6 through April 16.

Going with Mr. Lyoung, MBA and Guatemalean and El Salvadorian chicks.

It should be cool.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Paid to get laid then fade....


Picked her up on Friday night. Did what we do all the time...but tried to hold in my ejaculation. I did this by hitting it from the front, from the side, and finally from the back...

The next morning, didn't go to Big Bear. We laid in bed all day. Finally, it was dinner time. Girl wanted a fancy restaurant but no reservations anywhere. (It was part of my scheme to get stranded in the snow, and then be like "Sorry baby I had reservations but I cancelled them so we can go skiing...") I thought for sure we can do McDonalds. Nope. She saw a place called Wokcano in Downtown. Got raped for $150.

Then we got some drinks at a lounge. There were some hot girls that wanted me at the lounge. Being the vagina face I am I didn't holler.

Then we got some strawberries, whip cream, and some salt and vinegar Kettle chips. We brought it back to the crib. We had fun in the bedroom and in the bathtub with bubbles.

Sunday just slept in and did it all day. I dropped her off Sunday night. I went out Sunday night to South. The bartender wanted me. She was fine. I just didn't have any energy left to holler.

Monday came and went. Tuesday came and went.

Today is here. Today was judgement day. After hours debating, expressing the difference in emotional levels for one another, I had to cut her loose. It's not fair for me to string her along. So it's over. For real this time, there's no more getting back together.

It was a great year. She taught me alot about myself, alot about what I want in a woman. Alot. I'm going to miss her, but it can't be a real relationship with someone I just can't love back. It's not fair for the relationship.

Peace out girl. We had some great times. I have the pictures to prove the great times. I wish you the best and all the success in the world.

You're a good girl, but you just weren't good enough for me.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Cupid about to get paid...

Happy Valentine's Day bitches...yes I'm reluctant to greet that. Why? Because my long distance girlfriend is flying in on the 13th until the 15th. How fucking convenient. Funny thing is, I haven't heard from the bitch in almost 24 hours. Not common from her, especially because I have Yahoo! fucking Messenger on my cellphone. I have the electronic leash. She doesn't have shit. I tried to call her after texting her numerous times today. Chances are great that she dropped like 3 tablets of ecstacy and is on her back getting fucked as we speak. Hmmmmph!

Oh well. Life is short. Shouldn't settle on a bitch. I kind of am. I've been called out a few times by friends and family. I even call myself out.

But it's the convenience factor. It's already establish. I get to fuck without a condom! It's great! Scary...but great!

I really think it's time to move on. Time is running out for us. She's not getting any younger, and neither am I. But her clock is ticking. And she needs someone who can take care of her. I don't want to spend shit for her. She fucked up, because her ex-fiancee was paid out of control. Stupid bitch. Now I get the sloppy seconds (or thirds, or fourths, or whatever) and I want out.

I need to get paid. I'm almost matching my salary at my old employer. It took me a little more than a year. I definitely got out what I have put in. Shit if only I could have put in a little more time instead of jerking it all the time...

Shoulda, coulda, woulda, blah, blah, blah fuck you!

I feel better now. Oh look who just finally texted me...my bitch! Excuse me while I chew this bitch out...

Monday, January 26, 2009

2009 is Year of the Ox...

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Year of the mother fucking Ox.

I'm a Horse. My girlfriend is a Rat. My horoscope says, "Marry a Tiger, but never a Rat..."

With that said, Minnie Mouse is soon to be done deals, because I'm gonna get me a dime piece Tigress...Rrrroaweeeeer!

All you Tigers out there holla at your boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"All the single ladies make some noise..."

My horoscope also said that it's going to be a tough financial year and it told me not to splurge and keep my friends and family near.

Sounds like a dim fucking 2009.

Fuck the bullshit. When I hit 200 members, I'm going to get a 8 ball of coke and get down.


Yeah...great idea! I'm Andre 3000:

"Gimme a green light...gimme just one night....I'm ready to go right now!!!"

My caffeine intake isn't getting any better. I'm getting love handles too.

My girlfriend says it's a turn on for her because I look fatter.

BULLSHIT! It's a turn-on because it's an excuse for her to eat more and get thicker, and it will be my nemesis because I won't get any new pussy because I'll be all out of shape. Fucking RAT!

I went to the gym for the first time in 2009 last Friday. Ran 3 miles, did some dips and some pull ups. Felt great...I'm gonna try to go at least 3 times this week. If I don't, you get to chop off my balls, throw them in the deep fryer, shake some McCormick and Smicks on them and feed them to me because I seem to not need them...

Peace out bitches. See you again soon.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Happy 2009 bitches!

Wait here's a recap of what happened since September 2008:

In October I stopped talking to my girlfriend so we "broke up". I went on a East Coast tour to New York, Boston, Martha's Vineyard, Halifax and Nova Scotia via Norwegian Cruise Lines. There was this crew member who wanted me. She was a short and cute from the Philippines I met on the first day taking pictures around the ship on the first day. My cousin said she wanted to have my baby. I said I just wanted to buck. Tried to scheme it out...can I go downstairs to her cabin (going past the "authorized crew members only") door or have her come up to my cabin (when my parents and sister are gone)? My chances of having her bend over one of the ship's rails doing it doggy style out in the open were greater...

I like the East Coast. It's a different flavor out there.

The Holidays came and went. Thanksgiving was in Las Vegas and Christmas was in Prague, Vienna, and Budapest. NYE was in Las Vegas.

Like I said earlier broke up with my flight attendant sex trip and got back with her in December when I got back. Seeing all those hot Eastern European girls made me want to explode. So my ex flew in mid-December and we had go back together. She went with us to Vegas on NYE.

Just spent a couple days with her. She's doing good. I'm still needing to find a girl who can "fill the void."

Notable women:

Angelina Jolie
Kate Moss
Tyra Banks

Oh shit I just noticed that all of them are hot and they can take care of me in the bedroom and out in the real world because they're paid out of control!!!

Back to the grind. Gotta get mine.

I miss Adderral.

That's why I down 4 cups of coffee a day.

Oh yeah, Obama is our first African American president.

Now get off your ass and do something because ANYTHING is POSSIBLE.

Yo Feds, hook me up with a stimulus check so I can do shit!!!