Monday, January 26, 2009

2009 is Year of the Ox...

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Year of the mother fucking Ox.

I'm a Horse. My girlfriend is a Rat. My horoscope says, "Marry a Tiger, but never a Rat..."

With that said, Minnie Mouse is soon to be done deals, because I'm gonna get me a dime piece Tigress...Rrrroaweeeeer!

All you Tigers out there holla at your boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"All the single ladies make some noise..."

My horoscope also said that it's going to be a tough financial year and it told me not to splurge and keep my friends and family near.

Sounds like a dim fucking 2009.

Fuck the bullshit. When I hit 200 members, I'm going to get a 8 ball of coke and get down.


Yeah...great idea! I'm Andre 3000:

"Gimme a green light...gimme just one night....I'm ready to go right now!!!"

My caffeine intake isn't getting any better. I'm getting love handles too.

My girlfriend says it's a turn on for her because I look fatter.

BULLSHIT! It's a turn-on because it's an excuse for her to eat more and get thicker, and it will be my nemesis because I won't get any new pussy because I'll be all out of shape. Fucking RAT!

I went to the gym for the first time in 2009 last Friday. Ran 3 miles, did some dips and some pull ups. Felt great...I'm gonna try to go at least 3 times this week. If I don't, you get to chop off my balls, throw them in the deep fryer, shake some McCormick and Smicks on them and feed them to me because I seem to not need them...

Peace out bitches. See you again soon.

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