The Closer

Everyone has a nickname. Shaquille O'Neal is known as Diesel, LeBron James is known as King James. Call me the Closer.

With the help of uppers, last week I was able to close around 50 new members. Damn!?!?!?!?!?! If I keep it up, I should end the year with 600 new members.

I put the Korean chick on blast. If we ain't buckin, then we can't be friends. Period.

Gonna play tennis tonight with Sarah. Gonna kick her ass! She talks too much shit. And plus I feel like I'm preparing her for when we play mixed doubles. We are gonna win the championship match, then she'll forget about her boyfriend for about 5 minutes, and in that 5 minutes I'm gonna tap that ass!!! Then pull up my pants real quick and pretend like nothing happened!

I'm trying to limit my intake to 1/2 to 1 or 1 1/2. I don't like the sweaty armpits (and body odor), the accelerated pulse, and the loss in appetite.

I figure:

1/2 tab of amphetamine salt + a cup of coffee = I'm good to go let's make this a great day!

That's it...just wanted to check in with ya'll.

So far, it's been a great year...