Love is...

So the drive to the Bay Area was a bitch; my parents and I lagged so we finally get to pick up my girlfriend at her hotel around 12:30am. I told her 10:30-11pm. That's why being the pimp I am I packed her a to-go box from my cousin's house with her favorite foods: fried fish, veggies, Dinuguan, and some white rice. She wasn't mad at all.

We get to the hotel room and the set up was a major cockblock. We get the sofa hideaway bed which faced my parents' bed. Yay! But being the freaks we are, I made sure my parents were in deep sleep (snoring was a good sign), slipped on a rubber and was hitting it sideways. Since I haven't nutted in 3 days, my parents were in the same room, and I was tired, I came like in 45 seconds. Sorry girlfriend, I get mine and you don't.

We wake up and get the free breakfast and meet with family. We then get ready to go out. San Ramon is dead so we go to Walnut Creek. Nice spot.

AND THEN...guess who I run into at the H&M store? The first girl I lost my virginity to when I was 21 years old! SMALL MOTHER FUCKING WORLD!

I spotted a short mestisa girl. I mean how can I forget her? She's really cute and she's a sex bunny. I called her, and she didn't recognize me at first...well no shit Sherlock, the sex was awful for her and it was my first time...of course she won't remember me! I reintroduce myself and she smiles and gives me a big hug. I blushed and cheesed at the same time. All the memories came back to me. I remember asking her questions so she could do all the talking while I recalled the hot sex we had at my apartment in Westwood. Then she finally caught my attention because she mentioned her and her boyfriend had a 3 year old son. Then I returned back to reality...

We went to Nordstrom (hella fine chicks at the makeup department, that's why I don't mind going there...) then went to get lunch at P.F. Changs. Then we went back to the hotel to rest and get ready for the wedding.

The wedding was at a country club. Very nice ceremony and reception. I was seated next to a mestisa 18 y.o. Shit if my girlfriend wasn't sitting next to me I was gonna hook it up! But I just engaged in small talk with her and her mom.

It was good seeing family and hot girls. My girl looked hot too, all dolled up. I never brought a date to a wedding before. Shit, when it rains it pours! It seems like all the ladies want to get to know you if you bring a date. At least I got a lot of attention.

We then stop by an uncle's mansion to bullshit. I wanted to go back and fuck. But we were stuck. Finally we go back to the hotel room and same thing: wait for the parents to fall asleep so we can do it. This time...no rubber! And this time, I lasted a little longer...about a minute and 30 seconds longer. I honestly don't remember coming. I was tired and wanted to sleep more. I then promised her we'd do it again, for redemption purposes. So we slept in, my parents went to breakfast and we went to Bucktown. First we did it in bed. Then we did it on the bathroom sink (just in case my parents walked in). Then we got ready and left for lunch at my aunt's house in Crockett.

I like her alot. She loves me. Shit I'm going to break her heart. So she might break mine first. She has a poor track record. I can't help but use her past against her. But for now, she's the only piece I'm hitting raw. And since it's so far and few I still enjoy it.

Dad made me promise that I'd never marry her. Shit that was deep, only because old man NEVER asks for much. I reassured him that she was just a great girl to be with but she brings nothing to the table and I'll never fall in love with her.

I'll see her again in 2-3 weeks. But before then, gotta go to Barcelona and surrounding areas for a homeboy's wedding!

I'm ANONYMOUS for a reason...

If you have been invited to read this blog, please protect my privacy...I still want to run for President in 2020 and my counterparts will use this against me and it'll destroy my campaign.

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...

Sorry I've been away for a while. Here's a recap of what has happened:

-I dropped out of my class @ UCLA.
-My girl never got pregnant (she had her period 2 weeks ago).
-I'm 30 years and 13 days old today.
-I have 100 members on my book of business to date.
-I have been on Adderrall for 6 days.

I bombed my quizzes and didn't go on the class field trip because my girlfriend was here. I was hollering at this half White, half Chinese girl who was really cute too. Also a central American girl too. Just never got into the class and never kept up with the reading. Looks like my projected graduation date is Fall 2008. Still in line with my New Year's resolution, nonetheless.

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So my girl has been menstruating (whew!). We have been using condoms (for the first round) and spermicide capsules (sporadically thereafter). The withdrawal method is still being practiced. I guess I like playing Russian Roulette. I'm a fucking idiot a.k.a. an idiot who likes to fuck unprotected with my girl knowing that she won't get on the pill and won't have an abortion.

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For my 30th, I got a cruise to Ensenada, a tie, cash, a bday dinner @ O bar, and a VIP table at Opera in Hollywood for my birthday...

I think I'm more immature than my girlfriend of 24.

She was over last weekend and saw a picture of me and a friend (who was a girl). When she asked me who it was, I lied and said it was my cousin. She knew I was lying and I hated how she was being so jealous (nothing ever happened between me and the girl, it's just a great pic because we had a VIP table at PURE in Vegas holding up a Grey Goose bottle; $49 at the grocery store, $399 + gratuity at the club.) So hell yeah I'm going to show off that picture! It's a great conversation piece...!

Well, didn't make for great conversation this time:

So she asked me and I lied she got really jealous and mad. I got really frustrated and started crying like a 5-year old kid wanting to go out and play even though it was cold and raining and his mom wouldn't let him...I just wanted her to be in a good mood so we can have sex. I forced tears and wiped it on her stomach saying, "Baby, I never cheated on you and never will...she's just a friend...I'll take it down and put our picture up..."

It was a Emmy performance! Well not really, maybe I did get misty-eyed because she was only here for 2 nights and 3 days and she was acting like this?!?!? Anyways the tears spilled and that all that matters! She hugged me and was shocked that I was "crying." Then we started making out and then hurried downstairs for some great sex. I should be an actor!

I still feel bad though, because she told me she knew I was lying and so I promised never to lie to her again...I'll have to pinky swear it when I see her next.

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Business is finally picking up. I have developed a strategy to meet with more groups and gain more members (warm calling, prospecting, following-up and closing.) I have finally found the light at the end of tunnel and have to continue my grind so I can have 500 members by the end of the year.

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So I'm doing a trial run on the amphetamine. Hope it works. But so far the side effects have been:

-Loss in appetite
-Excessive sweating
-Nausea
-Anxiety

I want to get a novel and see if I can finish it. Maybe an Encyclopedia Britannica.

I consult with my doctor (my dad) today. Have to drive up to San Francisco to attend a wedding. It's all good...I see my girlfriend tonight she's flying in! Only thing is that we're sharing a room with my parents. My broke ass needs to save money (I'm going to Barcelona for a friend's wedding next week!!!) So we're probably going to have sex in the minivan (again)!

Sorry again for being away.

My girl's period is late...

My financial hardships got a quick fix...Kaiser sent me a bonus check, the state and the feds sent me checks for my tax returns...phew....now I can breathe...

BUT, my girlfriend who I have had a lot of sex with hasn't gotten her period. It's like 2-3 weeks late already. I wish she would have gotten on the pill already. I wish I didn't enjoy having unprotected sex so much. I wish the withdrawal method was 100% safe. Shit man, just babysitting my niece all week allowed me to realize that I'm not ready for a kid. I was chatting with her letting her know this, but she kept on saying how hot it was that I was babysitting. Fuck that! No kids, not right now.

I see her again on the 23rd. I can't let this slide until then.

I need to make an overseas call to make sure she's cool. She got into a bad car accident. Testing me too, asking "if she would have died, would I cry?" Look baby, I don't have time for this bullshit. This is a long distance relationship. When we are together, we are boyfriend-girlfriend. When we're apart, we gotta take care of ourselves and be independent. Dunno if this is gonna last...the sex is great but it's getting pretty complicated.

I'm taking a class @ UCLA. It seems really cool. Not to forget to mention that there are 3-4 hot girls in the class. I gotta be cool and know my shit. Because I need an "A" to graduate. And I want to get in their pants. All 3-4 girls.

It's too nice of a day to have a head cold...

I just got back from Washington D.C. It was cold, we did a lot of walking and it was cold. The airplane is a breeding ground for viruses. I think I got one.

Not a bad place however. Am I more patriotic? Not at all. Only because I heard that we're down $60 billion with the Iraq war. Shit Bush, hook me up with $1 million and I'll wave a flag. So yeah, I'm a sellout.

I downed some Day Quil and some Taco Bell. What the hell is wrong with me???

Have a meeting with a T-Shirt design company. Let me see if he needs insurance. I have some great ideas for T-shirts. Maybe he can print some off for free. After all, summer is right around the corner. Perfect T-shirt and jeans weather. Fuck a $40 T-shirt. I'm gonna design my own for $5 bitches!!!

I lost my ass the other night at the homies' playing cards. Lost $80. Then I went to Commerce and lost $60. I've been playing like shit lately.

Got a check from a carrier...I may have to go back to Commerce to seek revenge...

Ok time is up. Got 8 minutes and I got to feed the meter and walk a couple of blocks to cafe. I so want a coffee but I'm going to sacrifice until Sunday morning. Shit man, if Jesus Christ can be in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, I think I can go 3 days without coffee...or can I?

My girl is coming on the 26th! Bucktown baby! Here we go again, unprotected sex and the risk of pregnancy. Why?

Happy Easter people!

White lines...

My cousin is such an Indian giver. He says he has a present for me (coke). So he let's me keep it. And now he's asking for it back...I'm gonna have to do a monster line now.

I need a Rx for Ritalin!?!?!?!?!

They say 2008 is a recession year. They're right. I'm broke as a joke.

I left Kaiser Permanente to start brokering insurance as an independent agent. I miss my $2800/month. However, I don't miss bullshitting with my 40 year old ex-coworkers. I hated the cubicle lifestyle. Having 3 makeshift walls, a phone with 2 lines, a company cellphone and restricted limited internet access just wasn't a good fit for me.

I love the freedom of owning my own business. I love calling my own shots and being my own boss. I fuckin love it. And I may lose it very soon if I don't sign up a new client quickly. By quickly I mean by the end of the month.

So my office is out of the house. The only distraction I have is being on my own time schedule. And I'm a Gemini so my mind is everywhere running @ 300 miles per hour. Let me tell you what I used to do, and maybe it'll explain my Attention Deficit Disorder Hyper Activity mental illness that I self-diagnosed myself. Shit, I still haven't graduated UCLA as I'm entering my 10th year as a candidate of a B.A. of Psychology. I failed out of school (please don't tell Mom and Dad, they think I'm done. Everytime they ask to see my degree, I'm like "Mom, Dad, it's still at the office, I haven't had the time to pick it up yet...)

Back to my ADD/HA disorder:

I get bored easily. I love gambling. I have challenges reading a book from start to finish. I've had jobs in retail, entertainment, and now insurance. I love Hollywood and the limelight. I was a talent agent, (not a successful one) because Arnold Schwarzenegger required all agents to post a $50,000 bond per year (which yielded $5000 a year for the insurance premium. Fuck that, I can be a manager and still charge 20% and not have to deal with the red tape.) Still, I wasn't on the phone 10 hours a day hooking up with casting directors all day. I was living in Thousand Oaks with the parents...

My first job was at Mann Theatres: sweeping popcorn, making popcorn, selling tickets at the box office. Then I moved on to Footlocker, Macy's and Structure (now the Limited for Men...shit I'd work at Victoria's Secret...okay so I have perversion tendencies). Then I sold advertising spots for a university magazine and have done dozens of bullshit internships. When I left school I was selling Konica copier machines. Then in 2003, my parents' friends had a friend that hooked my up with an underwriting stint at Aetna. From there I've worked at a general agency as a bitch data entry quoter then got my Life and Health license and Property/Casualty license, sold individual policies then worked at Kaiser Permanente.

Insurance is so fucking boring but it's good money.

What I really want to do is produce independent films. Porn? I mean I watch it but I wouldn't produce it. It's great money but it'd get boring after a while. Really. No substance, I'd just be miserable hanging around a bunch of sagging tits, stinky asses, and Viagra overdosed dickheads.

I'm working on one right now called Fill the Void. No, not a porn but an indie flick. It's about a young man who is a successful businessman, athletic, and a role model citizen but who was lonely and met this blonde bombshell who was successful in bussiness too but had a drug addiction problem...

(Dude hold up, I'm at a Coffee Bean in West Hollywood on Sunset and this girl sitting across from me keeps scoping me out...should I stop what I'm doing and look back? I've heard that women are turned on when men are focused on their grind. Even if she was fine, what the fuck am I going to do? I wouldn't be able to take her out on a date. I'm a goddamm broke insurance broker. Fuck her, she's with her girlfriends, don't mind her. Ah shit, her other girlfriend just sneezed and I could have been a pimp and a gentleman and said "Bless You!" but I ignored it and missed my window of opportunity. Fuck them.)

Now where was I...oh yeah the script. So yeah, I don't have a budget and I don't have a script. I have two actors and a crew who want to work with me for free, but I don't have shit to work with.

So what's the challenge? Goddammit, everytime I start something I can't seem to finish. A book. College. A project. Dad, hook me up with goddam Ritalin will ya? I have ADD! I love coffee! I'm miserable without the stimulant! I gave it up for Lent so on Fridays I don't drink it. Let me put it this way, I'm a real pleasant person and I usually exhuberate radiance, but on Fridays you don't want to be near me...I'm an asshole.

I love doing cocaine. Shit, I have a stash in my pocket right now. I won't do it, becuase too much of one thing makes you an addict. So I try to do it in moderation. Since the beginning of the year, I have done it about 5 or 6 times. Pretty damn good for someone who in 2007 was doing it almost everyday. Need my sleep, so that's why I don't really like it as much.

I'm dating this flight attendant who lives in Manila. She's not super hot but the sex is amazing. We enjoy it. Whenever we're together all we do is stay in the bedroom. We only leave the room to go out and eat, but even when we go out to eat, we make sure to fuck in the car. We're fucking freaks, and I hope to God that I didn't get her pregnant. But I like her, she respects me and I respect her and when I think about her I get a chubby. Yes it's lust and infatuation, but it's a great natural high.

(Goddammit the girls in front of me are talking about sex. Why are we so sexually deprived animals? This is fucking L.A. one of the biggest cities in the world! We should all stop hiding behind our Chanel shades, cellphones and drop top BMWs and be mating!!!)

So what the hell. So yeah, I'm getting bored with this. And this coffee is causing me to wanna take a shit. And my battery is running out of battery and I don't have the plug, left it at home. Didn't plan to be here all night long. Be back soon.