and I'm feeling aight!!!
About to go out and get something.
I'm free as a bird.
I'm ready to get something cool.
Wait, before I go just wanted to let you all know that I'm leaving for Panama and Costa Rica on April 6 through April 16.
Going with Mr. Lyoung, MBA and Guatemalean and El Salvadorian chicks.
It should be cool.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Paid to get laid then fade....
[FADE UP FROM BLACK]
Picked her up on Friday night. Did what we do all the time...but tried to hold in my ejaculation. I did this by hitting it from the front, from the side, and finally from the back...
The next morning, didn't go to Big Bear. We laid in bed all day. Finally, it was dinner time. Girl wanted a fancy restaurant but no reservations anywhere. (It was part of my scheme to get stranded in the snow, and then be like "Sorry baby I had reservations but I cancelled them so we can go skiing...") I thought for sure we can do McDonalds. Nope. She saw a place called Wokcano in Downtown. Got raped for $150.
Then we got some drinks at a lounge. There were some hot girls that wanted me at the lounge. Being the vagina face I am I didn't holler.
Then we got some strawberries, whip cream, and some salt and vinegar Kettle chips. We brought it back to the crib. We had fun in the bedroom and in the bathtub with bubbles.
Sunday just slept in and did it all day. I dropped her off Sunday night. I went out Sunday night to South. The bartender wanted me. She was fine. I just didn't have any energy left to holler.
Monday came and went. Tuesday came and went.
Today is here. Today was judgement day. After hours debating, expressing the difference in emotional levels for one another, I had to cut her loose. It's not fair for me to string her along. So it's over. For real this time, there's no more getting back together.
It was a great year. She taught me alot about myself, alot about what I want in a woman. Alot. I'm going to miss her, but it can't be a real relationship with someone I just can't love back. It's not fair for the relationship.
Peace out girl. We had some great times. I have the pictures to prove the great times. I wish you the best and all the success in the world.
You're a good girl, but you just weren't good enough for me.
[FADE TO BLACK.]
Picked her up on Friday night. Did what we do all the time...but tried to hold in my ejaculation. I did this by hitting it from the front, from the side, and finally from the back...
The next morning, didn't go to Big Bear. We laid in bed all day. Finally, it was dinner time. Girl wanted a fancy restaurant but no reservations anywhere. (It was part of my scheme to get stranded in the snow, and then be like "Sorry baby I had reservations but I cancelled them so we can go skiing...") I thought for sure we can do McDonalds. Nope. She saw a place called Wokcano in Downtown. Got raped for $150.
Then we got some drinks at a lounge. There were some hot girls that wanted me at the lounge. Being the vagina face I am I didn't holler.
Then we got some strawberries, whip cream, and some salt and vinegar Kettle chips. We brought it back to the crib. We had fun in the bedroom and in the bathtub with bubbles.
Sunday just slept in and did it all day. I dropped her off Sunday night. I went out Sunday night to South. The bartender wanted me. She was fine. I just didn't have any energy left to holler.
Monday came and went. Tuesday came and went.
Today is here. Today was judgement day. After hours debating, expressing the difference in emotional levels for one another, I had to cut her loose. It's not fair for me to string her along. So it's over. For real this time, there's no more getting back together.
It was a great year. She taught me alot about myself, alot about what I want in a woman. Alot. I'm going to miss her, but it can't be a real relationship with someone I just can't love back. It's not fair for the relationship.
Peace out girl. We had some great times. I have the pictures to prove the great times. I wish you the best and all the success in the world.
You're a good girl, but you just weren't good enough for me.
[FADE TO BLACK.]
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Cupid about to get paid...
Happy Valentine's Day bitches...yes I'm reluctant to greet that. Why? Because my long distance girlfriend is flying in on the 13th until the 15th. How fucking convenient. Funny thing is, I haven't heard from the bitch in almost 24 hours. Not common from her, especially because I have Yahoo! fucking Messenger on my cellphone. I have the electronic leash. She doesn't have shit. I tried to call her after texting her numerous times today. Chances are great that she dropped like 3 tablets of ecstacy and is on her back getting fucked as we speak. Hmmmmph!
Oh well. Life is short. Shouldn't settle on a bitch. I kind of am. I've been called out a few times by friends and family. I even call myself out.
But it's the convenience factor. It's already establish. I get to fuck without a condom! It's great! Scary...but great!
I really think it's time to move on. Time is running out for us. She's not getting any younger, and neither am I. But her clock is ticking. And she needs someone who can take care of her. I don't want to spend shit for her. She fucked up, because her ex-fiancee was paid out of control. Stupid bitch. Now I get the sloppy seconds (or thirds, or fourths, or whatever) and I want out.
I need to get paid. I'm almost matching my salary at my old employer. It took me a little more than a year. I definitely got out what I have put in. Shit if only I could have put in a little more time instead of jerking it all the time...
Shoulda, coulda, woulda, blah, blah, blah fuck you!
I feel better now. Oh look who just finally texted me...my bitch! Excuse me while I chew this bitch out...
Oh well. Life is short. Shouldn't settle on a bitch. I kind of am. I've been called out a few times by friends and family. I even call myself out.
But it's the convenience factor. It's already establish. I get to fuck without a condom! It's great! Scary...but great!
I really think it's time to move on. Time is running out for us. She's not getting any younger, and neither am I. But her clock is ticking. And she needs someone who can take care of her. I don't want to spend shit for her. She fucked up, because her ex-fiancee was paid out of control. Stupid bitch. Now I get the sloppy seconds (or thirds, or fourths, or whatever) and I want out.
I need to get paid. I'm almost matching my salary at my old employer. It took me a little more than a year. I definitely got out what I have put in. Shit if only I could have put in a little more time instead of jerking it all the time...
Shoulda, coulda, woulda, blah, blah, blah fuck you!
I feel better now. Oh look who just finally texted me...my bitch! Excuse me while I chew this bitch out...
Monday, January 26, 2009
2009 is Year of the Ox...
Happy Chinese New Year!!!
Year of the mother fucking Ox.
I'm a Horse. My girlfriend is a Rat. My horoscope says, "Marry a Tiger, but never a Rat..."
With that said, Minnie Mouse is soon to be done deals, because I'm gonna get me a dime piece Tigress...Rrrroaweeeeer!
All you Tigers out there holla at your boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"All the single ladies make some noise..."
My horoscope also said that it's going to be a tough financial year and it told me not to splurge and keep my friends and family near.
Sounds like a dim fucking 2009.
Fuck the bullshit. When I hit 200 members, I'm going to get a 8 ball of coke and get down.
LIGHTBULB!!!
Yeah...great idea! I'm Andre 3000:
"Gimme a green light...gimme just one night....I'm ready to go right now!!!"
My caffeine intake isn't getting any better. I'm getting love handles too.
My girlfriend says it's a turn on for her because I look fatter.
BULLSHIT! It's a turn-on because it's an excuse for her to eat more and get thicker, and it will be my nemesis because I won't get any new pussy because I'll be all out of shape. Fucking RAT!
I went to the gym for the first time in 2009 last Friday. Ran 3 miles, did some dips and some pull ups. Felt great...I'm gonna try to go at least 3 times this week. If I don't, you get to chop off my balls, throw them in the deep fryer, shake some McCormick and Smicks on them and feed them to me because I seem to not need them...
Peace out bitches. See you again soon.
Year of the mother fucking Ox.
I'm a Horse. My girlfriend is a Rat. My horoscope says, "Marry a Tiger, but never a Rat..."
With that said, Minnie Mouse is soon to be done deals, because I'm gonna get me a dime piece Tigress...Rrrroaweeeeer!
All you Tigers out there holla at your boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"All the single ladies make some noise..."
My horoscope also said that it's going to be a tough financial year and it told me not to splurge and keep my friends and family near.
Sounds like a dim fucking 2009.
Fuck the bullshit. When I hit 200 members, I'm going to get a 8 ball of coke and get down.
LIGHTBULB!!!
Yeah...great idea! I'm Andre 3000:
"Gimme a green light...gimme just one night....I'm ready to go right now!!!"
My caffeine intake isn't getting any better. I'm getting love handles too.
My girlfriend says it's a turn on for her because I look fatter.
BULLSHIT! It's a turn-on because it's an excuse for her to eat more and get thicker, and it will be my nemesis because I won't get any new pussy because I'll be all out of shape. Fucking RAT!
I went to the gym for the first time in 2009 last Friday. Ran 3 miles, did some dips and some pull ups. Felt great...I'm gonna try to go at least 3 times this week. If I don't, you get to chop off my balls, throw them in the deep fryer, shake some McCormick and Smicks on them and feed them to me because I seem to not need them...
Peace out bitches. See you again soon.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Happy 2009 bitches!
Wait here's a recap of what happened since September 2008:
In October I stopped talking to my girlfriend so we "broke up". I went on a East Coast tour to New York, Boston, Martha's Vineyard, Halifax and Nova Scotia via Norwegian Cruise Lines. There was this crew member who wanted me. She was a short and cute from the Philippines I met on the first day taking pictures around the ship on the first day. My cousin said she wanted to have my baby. I said I just wanted to buck. Tried to scheme it out...can I go downstairs to her cabin (going past the "authorized crew members only") door or have her come up to my cabin (when my parents and sister are gone)? My chances of having her bend over one of the ship's rails doing it doggy style out in the open were greater...
I like the East Coast. It's a different flavor out there.
The Holidays came and went. Thanksgiving was in Las Vegas and Christmas was in Prague, Vienna, and Budapest. NYE was in Las Vegas.
Like I said earlier broke up with my flight attendant sex trip and got back with her in December when I got back. Seeing all those hot Eastern European girls made me want to explode. So my ex flew in mid-December and we had go back together. She went with us to Vegas on NYE.
Just spent a couple days with her. She's doing good. I'm still needing to find a girl who can "fill the void."
Notable women:
Angelina Jolie
Kate Moss
Tyra Banks
Oh shit I just noticed that all of them are hot and they can take care of me in the bedroom and out in the real world because they're paid out of control!!!
Back to the grind. Gotta get mine.
I miss Adderral.
That's why I down 4 cups of coffee a day.
Oh yeah, Obama is our first African American president.
Now get off your ass and do something because ANYTHING is POSSIBLE.
Yo Feds, hook me up with a stimulus check so I can do shit!!!
In October I stopped talking to my girlfriend so we "broke up". I went on a East Coast tour to New York, Boston, Martha's Vineyard, Halifax and Nova Scotia via Norwegian Cruise Lines. There was this crew member who wanted me. She was a short and cute from the Philippines I met on the first day taking pictures around the ship on the first day. My cousin said she wanted to have my baby. I said I just wanted to buck. Tried to scheme it out...can I go downstairs to her cabin (going past the "authorized crew members only") door or have her come up to my cabin (when my parents and sister are gone)? My chances of having her bend over one of the ship's rails doing it doggy style out in the open were greater...
I like the East Coast. It's a different flavor out there.
The Holidays came and went. Thanksgiving was in Las Vegas and Christmas was in Prague, Vienna, and Budapest. NYE was in Las Vegas.
Like I said earlier broke up with my flight attendant sex trip and got back with her in December when I got back. Seeing all those hot Eastern European girls made me want to explode. So my ex flew in mid-December and we had go back together. She went with us to Vegas on NYE.
Just spent a couple days with her. She's doing good. I'm still needing to find a girl who can "fill the void."
Notable women:
Angelina Jolie
Kate Moss
Tyra Banks
Oh shit I just noticed that all of them are hot and they can take care of me in the bedroom and out in the real world because they're paid out of control!!!
Back to the grind. Gotta get mine.
I miss Adderral.
That's why I down 4 cups of coffee a day.
Oh yeah, Obama is our first African American president.
Now get off your ass and do something because ANYTHING is POSSIBLE.
Yo Feds, hook me up with a stimulus check so I can do shit!!!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Red October
Holy crap...it's Q4 2008.
I still remember my freakin New Year's Resolutions:
I got sick of her. It reminded me why this is a successful relationship. It being a long distance one is actually a blessing in disguise.
Got a call from human resources. What the hell, accusing me of stealing? I didn't steal shit. You fucking haters. Haters be hatin'.
Saw Ozomatli at the Hollywood Bowl on the 21st. Great show. I got fucked up! I met some young teenie boppers at our seats. They wanted me. But I didn't want any child molestation charges. Some friends of friends were looking hot as well. I'm going to holla at them.
My sister and niece came down last Thursday night. Wow motherhood. Wow kids. Cute kid but a handful if things aren't her way. Let's just say my sister is a very very patient person.
The girlfriend flew into SFO last Saturday night. I didn't want to go up there and see her. I did want to smash though.
So I drove up there Sunday, arrived 10pm, "spent time with her" and had lunch in Palo Alto, checked out Half Moon Bay. Then I wanted to go home and told her I needed to drop her off early. Didn't want to get stuck in NorCal traffic. I dropped her off at her hotel at 4:30. I made a few stops, to get gas twice and to piss twice. Got to my a bar for my friends bday gathering around 11pm. Had 3 Jack and Cokes and 1 Stoli shot. Between the lack of sleep and the fatigue I got pretty faded.
Today I visited a hot lead. The account is a Mexican meat market and restaurant. The patrons were cool older guys. They hooked me up with a pound of Chicharones and a pineapple juice drink. I'm going back on Thursday to drop off some pens and get a signed Broker of Record letter. I can use the extra $200/month.
I'm back on the MySpace and Facebook hype. Some bitches want to meet me. Shit, free social networking websites are the shit. You don't have to leave the comfort of your home to meet and interact. You don't have to do the bar thing any longer. And with the economy continuing it's downward spiral, people aren't going to be able to afford wining and dining and contraceptives.
So more and more people are going to start having more and more cybersex.
And more offspring.
Fuck a bailout plan. Just send the people stimulus checks bitches! I can use some cash right now...
I still remember my freakin New Year's Resolutions:
- Work out
- Write business (match/surpass ex-employer salary)
I'm in okay shape.
I did grow my book of business five fold. But the 500 members at end of Q4 looking dim. So I slacked. I'm going to downgrade to 300 members. I'll be lucky if I get 250. Did I match or surpass ex-employer salary? I'm going to push so I can match. I'm about 70% there.
September came and went. My girlfriend was here for the first two weeks, which involved going up to San Francisco via Amtrak, staying at a 3 star hotel in Union Square, shopping, eating at overrated 5 star Greek restaurant for her bday, riding Amtrak back down to Bakersfield and her luggage getting stolen, hung out in L.A. for a couple of days, took a 4 day cruise from Long Beach on the 8th, came back and drove down to San Diego; stayed there for a couple of nights. Came home on Sunday night. She left Monday the 15th.I got sick of her. It reminded me why this is a successful relationship. It being a long distance one is actually a blessing in disguise.
Got a call from human resources. What the hell, accusing me of stealing? I didn't steal shit. You fucking haters. Haters be hatin'.
Saw Ozomatli at the Hollywood Bowl on the 21st. Great show. I got fucked up! I met some young teenie boppers at our seats. They wanted me. But I didn't want any child molestation charges. Some friends of friends were looking hot as well. I'm going to holla at them.
My sister and niece came down last Thursday night. Wow motherhood. Wow kids. Cute kid but a handful if things aren't her way. Let's just say my sister is a very very patient person.
The girlfriend flew into SFO last Saturday night. I didn't want to go up there and see her. I did want to smash though.
So I drove up there Sunday, arrived 10pm, "spent time with her" and had lunch in Palo Alto, checked out Half Moon Bay. Then I wanted to go home and told her I needed to drop her off early. Didn't want to get stuck in NorCal traffic. I dropped her off at her hotel at 4:30. I made a few stops, to get gas twice and to piss twice. Got to my a bar for my friends bday gathering around 11pm. Had 3 Jack and Cokes and 1 Stoli shot. Between the lack of sleep and the fatigue I got pretty faded.
Today I visited a hot lead. The account is a Mexican meat market and restaurant. The patrons were cool older guys. They hooked me up with a pound of Chicharones and a pineapple juice drink. I'm going back on Thursday to drop off some pens and get a signed Broker of Record letter. I can use the extra $200/month.
I'm back on the MySpace and Facebook hype. Some bitches want to meet me. Shit, free social networking websites are the shit. You don't have to leave the comfort of your home to meet and interact. You don't have to do the bar thing any longer. And with the economy continuing it's downward spiral, people aren't going to be able to afford wining and dining and contraceptives.
So more and more people are going to start having more and more cybersex.
And more offspring.
Fuck a bailout plan. Just send the people stimulus checks bitches! I can use some cash right now...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Rotten cupcake...
cupcake (cup-kayk): verb. To shut out the world and focus all of your attention to one girl.
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